Love Yourself Self-Care

"If you must love your neighbor as yourself, it is at least as fair to love yourself as your neighbor." ~ Nicholas de Chamfort

As women, we are nurturers at heart and we have no problem taking care of everyone else. But when was the last time you took care of yourself? Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it is self-care.

This is why airlines tell you in the case of an emergency to put your own oxygen mask on first, then your dependents. This is pie-in-the-sky but sound advice and advice that we must take to heart in our everyday lives.

So, just for today, take yourself out on an Artist’s Date.

"You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy." ~ Author Unknown

Chocolate...On Purpose

As many of our women of purpose are single, I want to share some purposeful and passionate ways to be alone on St. Valentine’s Day. Remember a song called, You’ve Got to Love the One You’re With, back in the day? Well, I remember hearing someone say that if you have no one to love, you have to love yourself. This is a stellar piece of advice. The lyrics went: If you can’t be with the one you love, you’ve got to love the one you’re with.

I’d like to shift that around a bit: If you can’t be with anyone, you’ve got to be with and love yourself. Not exactly saleable or catchy, but I’m just keepin’ it real! So, how do you be with and love yourself, especially on St. Valentine’s Day? Well, what’s the number one gift given on that day? You guessed it! Chocolate! And this is how we start to love ourselves… chocolate gifts!

Now, as a rule, there are no calorie counters or scales on St. Valentine’s Day. Yes, I wrote this particular rule, but it works for me. Here at BWP Headquarters, we always talk about extreme self-care. So, what can we do to pamper ourselves and love ourselves? First, a nice bubble bath, complete with scented bath gel, candles, and lovely music. Champagne too if you’re feeling it, but just don’t slip in the tub! Listen, you’re alone, so go all the way!

Slather on some silky lotion and slip into your favorite nighty. Yes, jammies work as well. Then we dive into the chocolate. Oh, you started eating while in the tub? Girl, you catch on quick! There are the standard boxes of chocolate, strawberries with melted chocolate, chocolate covered whatevers – everything is covered in chocolate these days. Get yourself a romantic novel and indulge. Or, pop in a romantic comedy. I'd go for the classics. Love those black and white movies!

The point? Don’t fret and fuss over not having anyone to be with on St. Valentine’s Day. Get to know yourself; be with and love yourself. Take extreme care of yourself. This is a perfect time to do it. You can get back on the diet the next day. There is a reason this day comes in the beginning of the year.

P.S. If you are diabetic… there is sugar-free chocolate. I have tried it and surprisingly it taste the same. Hmmm. I wonder…

Indulge and be!
Coach Carolyn

Embracing Extreme Self-Care

“It takes courage to demand time for yourself. At first glance, it may seem to be the ultimate in selfishness, a real slap in the face to those who love and depend on you. IT IS NOT! It means you care enough to want to see the best in yourself and give only the best to others.” ~ Shale Paul

“If you are not taking care of yourself; body, mind, and spirit, the people in your life don't get the best of you, they get what's left of you!” ~ Lorraine Cohen

Our end of May Meetup gathering was about embracing extreme self-care; extreme being doing it intentionally and on purpose. As women, we tend not to take care of ourselves, putting everyone else’s needs before our own. As member Lynne stated, we are more about “embracing extreme self-neglect.”

Though the weather was a bit gloomy, we all made the effort to fully embrace who we were created to be: women of passion and purpose, though sometimes that may look a little murky. To get clear on what our intentions for self-care are, we began with a self-care intention guided visualization. One of the ways to take care of ourselves is to stay in the present moment. This is difficult to do if you are prone towards worrying about the future and fretting over the past. This behavior leads to fears, stress and anxiety. When we catch ourselves in one of those mental spaces, we must remember. One of the main reasons we get out of alignment with who we really are – which includes ignoring our self-care – is that we have stopped remembering.

Remember what? Remember who we truly are. The opposite of remember is not forget – it is dis-member. We have become dis-membered beings, scattered here and there, masters of multi-tasking. In order to pull ourselves together again and become whole, we must remember. What we are remembering is a feeling – the feeling of being whole and present. The visualization exercise took us back to a time when we did feel whole and present. We held that feeling and created symbols around it to bring it to mind when we most need it.

I shared with the group the three self-care practices that they can do on a daily basis in order to maintain a sense of peace and wholeness.

1. Set your self-care intention. Always begin your day intentionally. Remind yourself of your self-care feeling.
2. Three things you are grateful for. Start small, start with the basics: health, home, nourishment, friends, family, work, Meetup…
3. Find a nutritious support person to check in with – this could be a good friend, an accountability partner, a life coach, a mentor – you don’t have to go through this transition alone; and creating new habits is transition. You can set up a time, preferably weekly, to get together. Keep that person in mind constantly, especially when things are looking dark. Have them on speed dial!

Once you have made the decision to do so, these three practices will easily incorporate into your everyday life.

Set the intention to embrace extreme self-care!

Coach Carolyn