My Weekend Wish For You!

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough 'Hello's' to get you through the final 'Goodbye.'"

~ Bob Perks

Have a fantastic weekend!

Coach Carolyn

Your Dream or Your Drama?

“Who is dreaming the story of your life? You are. If you don't life your life, if you don’t like what you believe about yourself, you are the only one who can change it. It’s your world; it’s your dream. If you’re enjoying your dream, that’s wonderful; then continue to enjoy each and every moment. If your dream is a nightmare, if there’s drama and suffering, and you’re not enjoying your creation, then you can change it.” ~ From The Fifth Agreement

I continue to say that you are the leading lady in your life; and only you have the power of the pen to re-write the script of what is not serving you. Don Miguel and Don Jose speak of this in The Fifth Agreement.

If you don’t like something in your life, change it. Only you can.

Maya Angelou says it this way: “If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.”

Well said. And enough said.

Here’s to all the leading ladies!
Coach Carolyn

Do Affirmations Really Work?

As you know, your words are truly powerful. I believe your words are one of the most powerful weapons you have for or against anything in your life. You literally have the power to harm or the power to heal.

So, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

How am I sabotaging myself with my words?

If you are one to speak daily affirmations, are you really speaking from a place of fear or a place of faith?

Do your affirmations make you feel constrictive or expansive? Do you really believe what you say on a daily basis?

If not, then perhaps you need to re-word your affirmations. One of the tricks I have found helpful for myself is to interject the choices method in my affirmations. If I say an affirmation and cannot quite feel into it, yet it is something I choose for my life, I preface it with the words, “I choose…”

So, if I my affirmation is “I am healthy, wealthy and wise.” Now, if I am not feeling this, I can change it to, “I choose to be healthy, wealthy, and wise.” This feels more authentic to me.

Just for today, I challenge you to take another look at your affirmations. See what feels constrictive or expansive to you.

I choose to make this a fabulous day!
Coach Carolyn

Is Fear Halting Your Success?

“Getting what you want is success; and success is an effect, coming from the application of a cause. Success is essentially the same in all cases; the difference is in the things the successful people want, but not in the success. Success is essentially the same, whether it results in the attainment of health, wealth, development or position; success is attainment, without regard to the things attained. And it is a law in nature that like causes always produce like effects; therefore, since success is the same in all cases, the cause of success must be the same in all cases.” ~ From How to Get What You Want by Wallace D. Wattles

So, we are nearing the end of January and I have a question for you: How are you doing with your 2010 intentions?

Wattles goes on the state, “The cause of success is some power within you....”

If you are not attaining the success you intended at the beginning of the year, then it is because you are not utilizing your power within. Why? The answer is likely fear. If you are already feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or thinking about the “how”, then chances are you are experiencing some level of fear. Interestingly, fear creeps up in very insidious ways; ways you may not be fully aware of.

Think about your intentions.

* Are they in alignment with who you are becoming?

* Do you have a big enough “why”?

* Are they something that you are passionate about or merely what you think you “should” be doing?

As we end the first month of this brand new year, just for today, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK yourself these questions. Then sit and listen for what your soul answers.

Coming soon: The Transcending Fear Online Mentoring Program.

Here's to your success,

Coach Carolyn

Product Review: Binaural Zen

I happened upon binaural beats when I was looking for relief from chronic pain. In my yearlong journey with binaural beats, I have found some that are quite jarring to the senses, especially when trying to relieve pain. I was fortunate to bump into Steven Aitchison’s Binaural Zen. There are five CDs in this system and each of the tracks builds upon the one before it to create a soothing and calming experience.

I have listened to a lot of different binaural sounds and so many have that genetic, canned sound to them. Binaural Zen offers an added effect to each of the tracks making them much more pleasurable to listen to.

Personally, the binaurals with water and nature sounds are the ones that really resonate with me. I started with the first CD, Awakenings, and loved that there are the water and nature sounds to create a truly soothing effect. Within minutes, I felt calmer, more relaxed and less constricted; able to release the stress associated with the pain.

As of this writing, I have been listening to Binaural Zen now for the past seven weeks and they have made such a difference not only on my pain relief but also the way I approach the pain. Some of the additional benefits for me have been more clarity, greater awareness and concentration, more focus and even my creativity was heightened.

Every day I have new awarenesses and deeper insights. The only thing I could attribute it to was consistently listening to the Binaural Zen CDs. I can now meditate with more focus and concentration without my mind wandering all over the place.

How Binaural Zen Works

Binaural Zen has been specially programmed so that you will hear a different tone in each ear to create a third tone. This third tone entrains your brain to a particular frequency called a brainwave, this is why it is sometimes called brainwave entrainment. It takes around 8 minutes for your brain to attune to a different brainwave so Binaural Zen will start to work almost instantly and begin to eliminate the stress and deliver the many benefits that meditation has to offer. ~ From Binaural Zen

If you are looking to calm down, relieve stress or pain, gain better focus, concentration and clarity, heighten your levels of awareness and creativity, then I highly recommend Binaural Zen.

So, stop and take a breath with Binaural Zen.
Coach Carolyn

Powerful Thoughts for the Weekend

"I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they plan their lives. Perhaps that is because escape is easier than change." ~ Jim Rohn

"It is dangerous to go into eternity with possibilities that oneself has prevented from becoming realities. A possibility is a hint from God. One must follow it." ~ Søren Kierkegaard

"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." ~ Johann von Goethe

Here's to your success,

Coach Carolyn

What's Your Drama?

"Other people's opinions of you do not have to become your reality." ~ Les Brown

Agreement #2: Don't Take Anything Personally

What other people say to you or say about you, is never about YOU; it is always about them. It is about their own stories and dramas. Unless you make it about you, then it isn't.

Stay out of the drama unless you're on stage! Like the queen says, "Save the drama for yo' mamma!"

'Nuff said.

Coach Carolyn

Choose Peace

When you are feeling bogged down by the burdens of life, remember, you can choose peace or you can choose the burden.

Simply, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and SAY:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference."

Take another breath, and get on with you day!

Choose peace,

Coach Carolyn

Take the Leap – Do It Afraid

"It's not what you do once in a while; it's what you do day in and day out that makes the difference." ~ Jenny Craig

"The minute you choose to do what you really want to do it's a different kind of life." ~ R. Buckminster Fuller

You know that when you do something once, there is no more fear, right? So, just do it!

I have found for myself that when fear begins to paralyze me, it simply means that my mind-body is protecting me from something new and unknown. But once I take the plunge, the fear disappears. I think there is a problem when you don’t feel the fear when facing something new.

So, just for today, face your fear – STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

“What is it you are here to protect me from? Tell your fear that you will keep you all safe and this shift will be good for you. Then, BREATHE again!

"Life is too short to waste. Dreams are fulfilled only through action, not through endless planning to take action." ~ David J. Schwartz

Leap...and the net will appear!

Coach Carolyn

Watch for my new Transcending Fear Mentoring Program. Coming Soon!

Turning Obstacles into Opportunities

Napoleon Hill says in his seminal work Think and Grow Rich:

“When the opportunity comes, it appears in a different form and from a different direction. That is one of the tricks of opportunity. It has a sly habit of slipping in by the back door, and often comes disguised in the form of misfortune or temporary defeat. Perhaps this is why so many fail to recognize opportunity.

Before success comes to most people, they are sure to meet with much temporary defeat, and perhaps some failure. When faced with defeat the easiest and most logical thing to do id to quit. That is exactly what the majority of people do.”

When I first read those passages, I nearly fell off of my chair. As a woman in perpetual transition, I would often ask the proverbial question, “Why is this happening to me?” “Why does this always happen to me?”

Does any of this sound familiar?

Then, I read Hill’s words and took a great sigh of relief. Before reading this, I would hit the adversity, then just stop. Not recognizing that this temporary defeat was an opportunity in disguise.

Today, although I’m still not crazy about the adversities that I meet, I now recognize them as opportunities in disguise. There is a higher calling for these trials.

Just for today, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

“What are the lessons, the blessings, and the testings of this trial or misfortune?”
I urge you to make a habit of reading books like Think and Grow Rich; especially if you are needing new shifts in old paradigms.

Here's to your success!

Coach Carolyn

A Life of Questions

Growing up in my ultra religious household was always a challenge for me. I never said the right thing at the right time. And when I said something, I always followed it up with the question, “why?” This was strictly frowned upon. I was being willful and going against the grain. I never really understood this. When I was old enough, I asked several questions of my church about the religion, history, and the like. The answer I received was, “That’s just the way it is!” Now, you can imagine, this was totally unacceptable to me and my inquiring mind. Because of this, I left that church. And when I was asked why I was leaving, I simply answered, “That’s just the way it is!” Okay, I was a bit snarky back then.

From the time I was very young, I had a love/hate relationship with God, at least, who I understood God to be. To me, he took away my beloved father when I needed him so. He was the God who needed anger management classes because he was always wrathful. I have never used the word “wrathful” in any other situation accept this. But I digress…. I remember telling my minister mother that I wanted nothing more to do with her God or the bible. Well, you can probably imagine the look on her face. To this day, I have never forgotten it.

I was never much for God, but I was strangely and spiritually connected to the Psalms. They became my christian church. Not much into the bible, since it was crammed down my throat for all those years, I still loved the Bible stories. It gave me great comfort, especially during the trying times. It wasn’t until I was face to face with sickness and pain that I cried out to the God I thought wrathful, only to find a God of mercy and compassion.

Fast forward to today and I am still inquisitive and want to know why. But I approach the questions a bit differently than I used to. I still love and read my Psalms, in addition to the rest. I live a new kind of kingdom of heaven, a new life in a trinity that I have been privileged to come face to face with. The Dutch Christian Holocaust survivor Corrie ten Boom once remarked, “You may never know that Jesus is all you need, until Jesus is all you have.”

I still ask the questions, but I live more in the questions than expecting the answers. Oh, the answers will come, in divine timing. But until then, I simply glory in the questions.

In peace,

Coach Carolyn

Book Review: The Male Factor

I happened on Shaunti Feldhahn’s book For Women Only a couple of years ago. I wasn’t in the market for a book on relationships or how the male mind works. But the book offered some excellent perspectives and some eye-opening insights about why men do what they do; and how the women who love them must respond and behave. I have recommended it to many of my women clients and workshop participants. So, I was excited to read Feldhahn’s newest work, The Male Factor. This book looks at the inner workings of men in the workplace from a Christian perspective.

There is already the proverbial glass ceiling when it comes to women in the workplace. Not only do women have to navigate their way through the job market, but also when they get the job they must navigate a different kind of ship. Trying to figure out how to behave around male colleagues, bosses and customers doesn’t leave much room for doing a good job, let alone being her best.

Many talented women today risk undermining their careers without realizing it, simply because they don’t understand how they are perceived by their male colleagues and customers. In The Male Factor, some of the issues we learn about are men’s unwritten “rules” of the workplace; how men perceive workplace emotion; and why revealing clothing can sabotage a woman’s effectiveness in the workplace.

“Never before has an author gotten inside the hearts and minds of men in the workplace – from CEO’s to non-profit managers, from lawyers to factory workers – to discover what they commonly think about women on the job, what their expected “rules” of the workplace are, what “managing emotion” means, and what factors improve or harm a man’s respect for a female co-worker.” ~ From the inside book jacket

The Male Factor equips women with the information they need to make informed decisions and compete on a level playing field.

Email me at bwpwithcarolyn{at}gmail.com and share a story of why this book would be helpful to you and have a chance to win a free copy of The Male Factor.

This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group. To purchase a copy, please visit the Random House website.

Coach Carolyn

Book Review: The Fifth Agreement

“Imagine living a whole new way of life – a life where you are free to be who you really are. You no longer rule your life according to what other people may think about you. Imagine living your life without judging yourself or anyone else, without the fear of being judged. You accept yourself just the way you are, and you accept everybody else just the way they are.” ~ From the back inside flap

After reading, studying and teaching The Four Agreements for the past few years, Don Miguel Ruiz and his son, Don Jose decided to share the Fifth Agreement with us. As an avid student of Don Miguel and the Toltec teaching, I was excited to dive into this new material. Thanks to my BWP sister, Lisa, for the gift of this book.

I have heard it said that we are messengers who have forgotten the message. We were sent here to deliver a message, to share something special, something unique. The message is us; and we have forgotten that message. We have forgotten who we really are.

The Fifth Agreement is be skeptical, but learn to listen. Since we have been conditioned, most of what we hear is not the truth. The truth is within each one of us, but we have forgotten what that truth is. We must learn to listen, but recognize that what we hear is only a piece of the truth, someone else’s truth; and may not be true for us at all.

In the Fifth Agreement, the Ruiz’ take us on a journey of the first four agreements as a refresher course. Then we are introduced to this next agreement. Don Miguel said that he tried teaching this agreement to his apprentices but they just were not ready to hear it, therefore unable to hear. Don Jose then took the message and presented it in a way that was ready for its hearers. It is definitely time for this message.

If we can just make the Five Agreements our way of life, then soon we will be living our personal dream of heaven.

Coach Carolyn

Speaking Your Truth

"You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage - pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically - to say 'no' to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger 'yes' burning inside." ~ Stephen Covey

One of ways to manifest inner peace is to let your YES mean YES and let your NO mean NO. We tend to get wishy-washy when it comes to speaking our truth. We don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Well, it’s not about hurting anyone’s feelings; it’s about making sure you are not hurting in the end. When you can do the truth in love, no one gets hurt.

Remember, NO is a complete sentence. Why do we feel we have to explain, justify, or convince someone of our truth? If it is our truth, then our truth should be enough.

Just for today, make a mental note of what you say to others. Are you saying it to please or to empower?

Coach Carolyn

Visualize Your Fears Away

"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith." ~ Mary Manin Morrissey

In this brand new year of only 10 days old, I know you are not already letting fear get the best of you. Please do not allow your fear to get bigger than your dream. If fear is creeping up a little too much, then it’s time to have a conversation with this fear of yours. Simply ask it what does it want from you? Remember, fear is not the enemy; it is there to protect you from harm. When you step into new dreams and intentions, your body and mind have never been there before. So, fear comes in to make sure you will remain safe. This is why creative visualization can be so helpful.

Write down your dreams and desires in as much detail as you can. Writing engages both hemispheres of the brain and it is said that writing is the doing part of thinking. Then, visualize this in your mind as if you were watching a movie. Picture the entire scene: what you are wearing, who is there with you, what is being said, and especially how are you feeling. That feeling is the key; live in that feeling. When you are living in your feelings of joy, peace, passion, or the like, fear has no foothold on your dream.

You were gifted with an incredible imagination. You used it when you were a child, then you bought into the belief that you had to grow up and be realistic. So, how’s that working for you? You still have the imagination. Take it out every once and a while and use it. You will be amazed at what you can manifest in your life.

"Do you really want to look back on your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it?" ~ Caroline Myss

Here's to feeling your dreams!
Coach Carolyn

Become An Appreciator

"Whenever you're facing any form of resistance, gratitude has the power to quickly dissolve it. This is true whether the hindrance comes from inside of you or outside of you." ~ Peggy McColl

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." ~ John F. Kennedy

When you are appreciating life, life appreciates. If you are not appreciating, then you and your life are depreciating. Become a divine appreciator; be grateful for everything.

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” ~ Albert Schweitzer

Aprreciating YOU!

Coach Carolyn

Friday's Purposeful Question

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

“What is your big, juicy, audacious dream for 2010?”

“The quality of our lives depend on the quality of the questions we ask.”

Do share!

Coach Carolyn

Make New Year Agreements

As we begin a brand new year, time to make new agreements with yourself. I can think of no better agreements to start with than The Four Agreements of Don Miguel Ruiz.

Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Think about what agreements you are making with yourself; and the agreements you make with those in your inner circle.

To your success,

Coach Carolyn

Live It Up In 2010!

This is your year to shine! How do you have the best year of your life?

Laugh harder

Smile wider

Stand taller

Walk lighter

Dance crazier

Hug longer

Live grander

Love louder

Feel it? Good!

In peace,
Coach Carolyn

Fall In Love With Your Dream

"Most people say their main fault is a lack of discipline. On deeper thought, I believe this is not the case. The basic problem is that their priorities have not become deeply planted in their hearts and minds." ~ Stephen Covey

One of the biggest reasons people do not follow through with their goals and dreams is a lack of purpose. There isn’t a big enough “why” you want to achieve that goal or dream. So, why do you want to achieve that goal? Is it because it is what someone else thinks you should do or have? Is it because you want to do or have what your peers do or have, so you won’t be left out of the group? Or, is it because you think you will finally be happy once you achieve it? Remember, happiness is an inside job. If you are not happy without it, I can guarantee you won’t be any happier with it.

Your dream is something that comes from deep inside of you. You have to fall madly in love with your dream. It has to be the thing you eat, sleep and breathe on a daily basis. If you talk to someone about your dream, will they be able to feel your passion and excitement? If not, then perhaps it is not your dream.

Take a moment to STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

*What is it that really lights me up?
*What am I willing to do to make that a reality in my life?
*What am I ready to let go of to make that a reality in my life?

I hope you purchased a brand new journal for this brand new year. Start writing! Post a comment here and let me know what your dreams are for this brand new year.

Here’s to your success!
Coach Carolyn

Book Review: The One-Day Way

I wanted to review this book and post the review as a way forward for 2010. I believe the most promised resolution for the new year is around fitness and weight loss. I can pass my local health and fitness club and see it full. The folks are running in place on the treadmills and really wanting to honor their resolution. By the first week of February, that same club is only half full. Why? There was that momentum in the beginning, as with any goal or dream. Then, after some time, the momentum simply wears off. We no longer believe we can attain the goal we set only four short weeks ago.

What I love about The One-Day Way by Chantel Hobbs, is that it can be applied to any life goal, not just weight loss. It’s about creating a new mindset in order to create a new way of life. The One-Day Way gives you everything you need to lose weight and get fit in body, mind, and spirit. Chantel teaches daily fitness tasks from a faith-based perspective that develop into lasting habits. By focusing energy and attention on doing the right things every day, she frees you to achieve your weight loss goals one day at a time.

Chantel writes, “When you begin to build your new life, the first thing to change is your thinking. You’re going to overhaul your old mentality so you can change the way you think from now on.” She takes you through one day at a time because she says, “Too often o your best efforts get sabotaged by worries about the future…. Obsessing over the future will prevent you from achieving the life you want to build.” This is brilliant. Sometimes our goals are so big and so long-range that we have difficulty focusing on what’s right in front of us.

She also writes, “So as you approach this new life one day at a time, figure out what you want to build. What kind of life are you constructing?” Chantel includes simple, high-energy meal plans and her at-home program for cardio exercise and strength training. If you are tired of the diet roller-coaster and want to create a lasting health and fitness plan for your life, then The One-Day Way will help you achieve your goals.

To purchase a copy of The One-Day Way, please visit Waterbrook Multnomah at Random House.

Be the first to send me your 2010 weight loss goals and win a free copy of The One-Day Way by Chantel Hobbs. Send your goals to bwpwithcarolyn@gmail.com. Include One-Day Way in the subject line.

This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

Happy 2010!

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

Wishing you the most purposeful and prosperous New Year!

Coach Carolyn