The Lie of Blame

“Blame is the lie by which we convince ourselves that we are victims. It is the lie that robs us of our serenity, our generosity, our confidence, and our delight in life.” ~ From Bonds That Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner

One of the vicious cousins of fear is blame. When you blame something or someone outside of yourself, you stay in victim mode. If it is someone else’s fault, then you can’t possibly do anything about it. This keeps you stuck. This also robs you of your power, your freedom and your life.

You cannot control another person’s actions but you can control how you respond to those actions. This is where you have full and complete control and responsibility. You can choose to react out of fear or you can choose to respond out of love.

Remember, when you point the finger of blame, there are three fingers pointing right back at you!

The choice is yours. Choose wisely.

Feelings Are Not Facts

“When we’re stuck in troubled feelings, we believe that all our feelings are true – that is to say, we believe that by our emotions at that moment, we are making accurate judgments about what’s happening. If I’m angry with you, I’m certain that you are making me angry.”

The fact is “though we truly have these feelings, they are not necessarily true feelings.”

~ From Bonds That Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner

No matter what happens in your life, you will have some feelings about it. And, we tend to believe that it is the events that happened that caused those feelings. This is not true. Before we have the feelings, we have a thought about the event; it is from that thought that our feelings arise.

If we think something is awful, we will feel awful about it. If we think something is wonderful, then our feelings will follow. The key here is to not allow your feelings to control how you behave; because from those feelings come the behaviors. If something is awful, acknowledge it and then move on. By the same token, if something is wonderful, acknowledge it and move on.

You will begin to see that life becomes more peaceful, more calm and much more agreeable.

Your Authentic Story

“Only people who are doing something that goes against their own sense of right and wrong have to spend time and energy spinning out a self-justifying story.” ~ From Bonds That Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner

Now that the BWP Community is into creating and living out new stories, one of the first steps is to ask yourself, “Who am I?” Your new story should come from your core essence, your true self, the person you were before you bought into all the lies that formed your beliefs.

When you tap into your core essence, it is easy to create that new story – it is simply the real you. You won’t have to spend time spinning new stories to justify your false story when you live from your core essence. The true you, the authentic you will shine.

Just for today, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

“Who am I?”

Create a story from the answer you receive.

Coach Carolyn