Your New Self

“Even though you are different, people assume you are the same; they hardly notice the change unless you express yourself. But at a certain point, you no longer play their game. You don’t take on their addictions, and you don’t join in their gossiping. You no longer care so much about their drama, about their anger, their jealousy, because you know they are dreaming. And you know they don’t mean it when they tell you something unkind.” ~ don Miguel Ruiz

George Bernard Shaw once quipped that “the only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew every time he sees me, while all the rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.”

This is profound wisdom! When you grow and change, most of the people around you won’t notice the change and will go on treating you as they always had. If at all possible, when you begin your transformation, you may need to also change your associations. As Jim Rohn said, you are the average of your five closest friends. If you have left behind negativity, gossip, anger, and slander, but your friends still live in that space, then guess what? You will revert back to that way of being.

I believe this is why the recidivism rate is so high. When a person is released from prison, instead of going to new surroundings to begin a new life, they go back to the life that encouraged the behaviors that incarcerated them in the first place.

When you make a transformational change, you must do it all the way. The Master Teacher once said that no prophet is honored in his native town. This is because everyone knew them before and will not accept the transformation.

Check out the movie, Now Voyager, starring Bette Davis and Claude Rains. One of my all time favorites. Charlotte (Davis) goes through a radical transformation – physically and emotionally. The most brilliant move on Dr. Jackwith’s (Rains) part is not to allow her to return home right away; but go on a cruise to feel into her new self.

So, just for today, if you are shifting into a new way of being, go on a cruise and feel into your new self!

For Every Action…

"Every action has a reaction, and for all of our life we repeat our actions and suffer the same reactions. Perhaps we cannot see the action or the choices when we make them, but we are always going to see the reactions, the results of what we do. Many times there are things in our lives that we don’t like, that we want to change, but we make the same mistakes, the same choices, expecting that the result will be different. Well, it will not be different.

"The only way to change your life is to change the choices, to change the actions. If there is something in your life that you don’t like, first you have to be aware that it is the result of something that you do. It’s the result of a choice that you made. Then if you take one step back and focus your attention on what is happening just before that result, you will find what you did that isn’t working, what you did that caused the result you don’t want.

"Once you find out what action you took, the next step is to forgive the reaction and change the choice, change the action, and see that the reaction is. If you don't like the result again, you change it again and again until you have the result you want." ~ From The Four Agreements Companion Book by Don Miguel Ruiz

Remember, the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Stop the cycle of insanity and change your action. Become aware and make a new choice.

Grace Card:
ACT: Charge forward. When we combine action with unwavering faith, the power of grace will meet our needs.

Coach Carolyn

Make New Agreements

"The Four Agreements are a tool for transformation, leading you to stop judging, mainly yourself, and to start practicing another way of life. They lead you to stop the guilt, the shame, and the self-rejection; they help you break the agreements that limit the expression of your creativity, and replace them with new agreements that facilitate the expression of your love.” ~ From The Four Agreements Companion Book by Don Miguel Ruiz

Isn’t it time to break those old agreements that you have had since childhood and no longer serve you? We listen to the same old tapes and replay them over and over in our minds all the while desiring something new. Well it isn’t going to work for you. Until you can get your conscious and subconscious minds to agree and align with your desires, you will continue to get more of what you have already been getting. Remember, the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time.

The Four Agreementswill help you to break the old agreements, creating new agreements that will penetrate your belief system, thus aligning with your desires. I have been a student of the Four Agreements for years and I must say that they have changed my life; and I had some serious baggage. With consistent use, you would be amazed at how your life can change.

So, just for today, decide to make some new agreements with and for yourself. You, and your loved ones, will be so glad you did!

Coach Carolyn

Be Impeccable With Your Word

"When we believe something, we assume we are right about it to the point that we will destroy relationships in order to defend our position." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

Let go of the need to defend your opinions and your need to always be right.

Your opinion is nothing more than your point of view. It is not necessarily true.

Use your words in love and kindness. Do the truth in love.

Coach Carolyn

Who Are You?

Don Miguel Ruiz says in the Companion Book to the Four Agreements: “The other humans around you have the capacity to project an image onto you, which means they tell you what they believe you are…. What you believe you are is a distorted image of yourself that came from other people.”

So, who are you? Have you really taken time to sit down with that question? Do you really know who you are, or are you the composite of what others believe you to be?

Remember, everyone has their own image of who you are because you play different roles in everyone else’s story. But who are you when no one is watching?

Hint: you are a uniquely and wonderfully made child of the Divine.

Live into your divinity,
Coach Carolyn