25 September 2007

Living with Passion or Living with Fear

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Whenever I teach, coach, counsel, consult, or speak, the subject of fear always seems to rear its overpowering head. Of course in the culture in which we now live – a culture of war, terrorism, lack of job security, diminishing health care, and the like, fear is a major player in our lives. Yet, one thing I have come to discover is that one cannot live the life they were destined to live if these fears are not dealt with.

Dealing with fears does not mean ignoring, denying or avoiding them; it does mean being able to walk through the fears and embrace them.

A fear is an unpleasant feeling of perceived risk or danger, real or not. It is one of the basic emotions. We were born with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All other fears are learned. We all face fears, which is perfectly normal, unless they control our lives.

When we allow fear to take over, fear diminishes freedom of action. However, when we can learn to embrace the fear, then fear is a signal that there is something for me to learn.

One of the catch-all scenarios I hear is about fear of the unknown, which is absolutely unfounded. Fears are “perceived” dangers; risks that we know about and are aware of. If the risk or danger is unknown, then what is the basis of the fear? When one speaks of fear of the unknown, then the fear is usually about an outcome that is unknown to us; and that outcome has a name: fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being mistreated, the list can go on.

In order to begin to face and embrace our fears, we must first name the fear. We need to call it what it is. Until we can name our fear, we will continue to deny or ignore it.

Live passionately and fearlessly,
Coach Carolyn

21 September 2007

Blogs, Iguanas, France, Passion and Purpose

Well, passionate folks, I have returned from my very first trip off of the continent. And I live to blog about it!

I just spent a week on a spiritual pilgrimage in France. Lots of time to think about my purpose and what I am passionate about. France is an interesting place. I got to use my 10+ years of French. However, in school we never learned words pertaining to airport security. What the hell is "Too many liquids?" in French anyway?

And by the way, did you know that in Paris, powered makeup is considered liquid. There's goes the American advertisements. I tried to explain that I just don't wake up looking this gorgeous -- I have to work at it! They did confiscate my toothpaste. There goes my dazzling million dollar smile.

Being on pilgrimage meant no blogging. I nearly died from the withdrawal! I did take my laptop along. But forgot the adapter. And there are no blogging methadone clinics in the spectacular mountains of the French Alps. So, I had to drink of the springs of spirituality. It worked, sort of.

So, what did we do for seven days? Visited no less than ten churches, ten airports, five hotels, six towns, but still no blogging. And because these people are "spiritual," I couldn't even mention blogging because no one knew what I was talking about. Go figure! I mean, what is spirituality with stuff like blogs, mp3 players, and iguanas?

So, I was excited to get back -- still groggy and running on Paris time -- and find a post about a bloggers get together here in New York City. The pilgrimage worked! My prayers have been answered. Blog talk, at last!

Because the lovely Diva Toby Bloomberg was descending on NY, the fabulously illustrious CK decided to have a little martini gathering last night at the Cafe Iguana, which is just slightly north of the theater district. I desperately needed a fix. Or is it a hit? So, I drowsily headed to the Iguana.

I am still drowsy, hence all the over the top adjectives. In France, I had to conjugate verbs; in New York, we work in adjectives.

I met some of the most fantastic folks. CB Whittemore was just a dream. We chatted about blogs, bathrooms and France. How totally normal is that?! And, I had a boob graze moment with the lovely Ann Handley. Yes, New York is one helluva town.

The fellows were simply divine. Then there was Curious George. Yes, the monkey. Okay, why am I mentioning all this? Because I went to France to confirm my passion and purpose; and returned with the confirmation of getting together with the very people who add value to my purpose and passion. Bloggers.

As one dynamic coach always says, the answers are in the same room as the questions. My passion and purpose are so apart of me. I know it because I totally missed it when I was abroad; and was drawn to it when I returned home. How flippin' amazing is that?!

Glad to be home. Glad to be blogging again. There's no place like home and the blogosphere!

The W List Women:
CB, Toby, CK, Ann, and

Photo courtesy of the dazzling Steve Woodruff, who referred to me all evening as the Wild Wiki Woman. Don't you just love it? These are my people, n'est pas?!

Live your passion,
Coach Carolyn

06 September 2007

Breaking Through the Either/Or Syndrome

Here's a fabulous article on limiting beliefs by Lisa Jimenez of Rx-Success. Enjoy!

Let's take a little quiz. Read the following five questions and answer them as honestly as possible. Ready? Begin...

1. Do you want a successful career or a close relationship with your family?
2. Do you want to earn a fortune or do the work you love?
3. Do you want to enjoy a delicious love life or grow your business?
4. Do you want to give to your favorite charity or invest in the new car?
5. Do you want to travel the world or make money?

There's only one answer to all of these questions.

The answer is... BOTH!

One of the most powerful habits that can bring more abundance in your life is the habit of thinking, "Both".

Rich people live in a world of abundance. Poor people live in a world of limitation. Poor people think there's not enough to go around in the world. They come from a fear-based mindset.

Their answers are "either/or", but never "both". In a poor person's mind-set they go for security above love, safety before self-expression and protection over possibility.

What about you? Are you a possibility theorist or a fear-based thinker?

Rich people live in a world of abundance. Poor people live in a world of limitation. Rich people understand that with a little creativity, a willingness to be unconventional, and an open mind, they can have both. When you build your business (and your life) on the "Both" mentality, you will see opportunities that you were once blind to.

I invite you to begin today to alter your mind-set. Get in the habit of saying "Both!" Try it for the next seven days. Anytime you're asked to decide on two options, say both and then use your creative genius to make it happen. You're asked if you want peanut butter or pralines and cream. Say both and then do a double work out that day.

You're asked if you can write that article or take your daughter to soccer. Say both and then skip TV that night. You're asked if you want to spend a week at the lake or a week at the beach. Say both and sign up for a house exchange.

You're asked if you want to attend Yale or Berkeley. (Ha! This is the questions my daughter Auriana poses as I write this E-Zine.) I say, "Let's jump on a plane, tour the campuses and make a choice. To which my 18-year-old daughter replies, "And whatever college I don't get my Bachelors from, I'll attend for my Masters!

Just say, "Both!"

Only you can make the decision to break through the limitations put on life. YOU have the power to change your beliefs about abundance and prove to yourself you really believe in enjoying "both!" Your first homework assignment this month is to practice saying, "Both" for seven days and notice the changes in your life. Your second homework assignment is to celebrate those changes and all the abundance that you will begin manifesting into your life.

Live passionately on purpose,
Coach Carolyn