30 June 2009

The Search for Meaning

The late Dr. Viktor Frankl, psychoanalyst, Holocaust survivor, and author of the seminal book, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” speaks with passion and humor to a group of students on the meaning and purpose of life.

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life… Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.” ~ Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

“When you take a man as he is, you make him worse. When you take a man as he can be, you make him better.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Coach Carolyn

29 June 2009

Prosper With Appreciation

"Feeling appreciated is one of the most important needs that people have. When you share with someone your appreciation and gratitude, they will not forget you. Appreciation will return to you many times." ~ Steve Brunkhorst

High on Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs' chart is the esteem needs ~ the need to be respected, recognized, and appreciated. We all have these needs. These needs are basic to living a life of purpose and passion. Yet remember, we ALL have these needs. Neglecting the needs of others to have your own needs met and satisfied does not make for purposeful living. We are all spiritual beings having this human experience combined with hopes, dreams, fears and sorrows. Treat people as people, and they will repay you in the same way.

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Carl W. Beuchner

Coach Carolyn

26 June 2009

My Birthday Reflection

Today as I reflect on my birthday, I pause to remember two icons.

No matter what we may have thought of either of them, they had influence and made an impact. I grew up loving both of them. They impacted my life in ways I could never have imagined.

When we leave the room, the party, the job, this world… will people be glad you were there?

I am reminded of Michael’s song, Man in the Mirror ~ "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change."

We don’t know when we will leave this world; but we can make sure someone was glad we came.

I had lovely birthday sentiments; I was called inspiring, a light, mentor, uplifting, positive, sister…

I don’t take those sentiments lightly; I truly take them to heart knowing that to be is my choice. Yes, I have challenges and struggles. Yes, I choose the road not taken, because in the end, it has made all the difference.

Rest now, my sister Farrah, my brother Michael. Your work here is done.

Coach Carolyn

25 June 2009

Make New Agreements

"The Four Agreements are a tool for transformation, leading you to stop judging, mainly yourself, and to start practicing another way of life. They lead you to stop the guilt, the shame, and the self-rejection; they help you break the agreements that limit the expression of your creativity, and replace them with new agreements that facilitate the expression of your love.” ~ From The Four Agreements Companion Book by Don Miguel Ruiz

Isn’t it time to break those old agreements that you have had since childhood and no longer serve you? We listen to the same old tapes and replay them over and over in our minds all the while desiring something new. Well it isn’t going to work for you. Until you can get your conscious and subconscious minds to agree and align with your desires, you will continue to get more of what you have already been getting. Remember, the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time.

The Four Agreementswill help you to break the old agreements, creating new agreements that will penetrate your belief system, thus aligning with your desires. I have been a student of the Four Agreements for years and I must say that they have changed my life; and I had some serious baggage. With consistent use, you would be amazed at how your life can change.

So, just for today, decide to make some new agreements with and for yourself. You, and your loved ones, will be so glad you did!

Coach Carolyn

24 June 2009

Find Peace Inside

"All spiritual disciplines are done with a view to still the mind. The perfectly still mind is universal spirit." ~ Swami Ramdas

Getting into the habit of meditating, praying and/or resting daily helps us pull back from our preoccupation with the material world. In silence and solitude, we have an opportunity to pay attention to what’s happening inside rather than outside.

When we do this consistently, we learn to relax and to quiet and detach from our mental chatter and our turbulent emotions. As we begin to witness ourselves in personality, we also begin to experience our soul.

"Meditation may require a lifetime to master, but it will have been a lifetime well spent. ... If you want to judge your progress, ask yourself these questions: Am I more loving? Is my judgment sounder? Do I have more energy? Can my mind remain calm under provocation? Am I free from the conditioning of anger, fear, and greed? Spiritual awareness reveals itself as eloquently in character development and selfless action as in mystical states." ~ Eknath Easwaran

Brought to you by The Inner Journey.

Go inside and find peace,
Coach Carolyn

23 June 2009

Making Choices

"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated." ~ Goethe

The choice is yours. Choose wisely.

Coach Carolyn

22 June 2009

Believe and Do It!

“Start believing in yourself and the world will start believing in you.” ~ Vijay Thadani

"Do it... do what you have come to do. Stop making excuses, stop putting it off, stop talking yourself down. Gather the information you need. Build a skill. Use the resources everywhere around you. Take small steps to begin. Start with what you know you can do even if it's a little stretch. Do it! Be courageous! Begin! Keep going! Win! Feel Amazing!" ~ Beth Tabak

* What are you passionate about that you know you have to move forward on?
* What have you been thinking about for a long time?
* What step will you take today to begin?

Brought to you by Starting Now Coaching.

Just believe... and do it!
Coach Carolyn

19 June 2009

Friday's Purposeful Question

"...Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now." ~ From Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

"Where in your life do you have freedom now?"

You can tell a woman is clever by her answers. You can tell she is wise by her questions.

Live your questions,
Coach Carolyn

18 June 2009

Be Impeccable With Your Word

"When we believe something, we assume we are right about it to the point that we will destroy relationships in order to defend our position." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

Let go of the need to defend your opinions and your need to always be right.

Your opinion is nothing more than your point of view. It is not necessarily true.

Use your words in love and kindness. Do the truth in love.

Coach Carolyn

17 June 2009

Present Moment

"'Be here now' is the only way to be in the present moment regardless of how 'present' we think we are, even when we believe we are feeling a lot or thinking deep. Awareness is a crucial tool to being in the present and awareness takes courage. It is not for the faint of heart. Awareness shows us all the places were growth is calling us. Exciting but not always easy." ~ Rhonda Britten

The simplest way I have found to "be here now" is to consciously breathe. Watch your breath. Focus on your breath. Be one with your breath. It is you, here, now. At the same time, you create a sense of inner peace.

Take a breath, be at peace!
Coach Carolyn

16 June 2009

The Power of Patience

When it comes to getting through change, never underestimate the power of patience. Faced with an uncomfortable change, our first instinct is to hurry up and get through it. We don’t want to feel the uncertainty, the fear, the sadness or any other negative emotions that might arise. But rushing through a change prevents the process from unfolding naturally.

Resist the urge to speed through a transition, searching for a fast fix. Be still, live in the change as it plays out and allow things to develop in the way they need to. Or, from a more spiritual perspective, allow the universe to do its work.

Expectations are what create pain and uncomfortableness. Drop what you expect to happen, how it should happen, and by when. Life is constantly rearranging itself, so today it's OK if you don't have all the pieces to your change puzzle.

Brought to you by The First 30 Days.

Live the WAIT,
Coach Carolyn

15 June 2009

Daily Exercise: The Story of Revision

“We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are.” ~ AnaĆ®s Nin

Daily relive the day as you wish you had lived it, revising the scenes to make them conform to your ideals and intentions. For example, if today’s mail brought bad news, rewrite the letter making it conform to news you wish you had received.

This is not to deny or ignore reality – but to keep your thoughts and feelings in alignment with what you say you want your life to look like. Remember, the subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.

When some event or situation really needs your full and immediate attention, then you will deal with it appropriately. Otherwise, you have been gifted with an imagination – so use it!

“What we think determines what happens to us; so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Coach Carolyn

14 June 2009

National Vacation Day

One of my coaches always provides a challenging question of the week to ponder, dream and intend. One week, the question was if she was to give me $10 million dollars, what would I spend it on ~ and I can’t just give it away, but I have to spend it. What fun it was spending $10 million dollars on paper!

So let’s bring it down closer to home. What if you were to win a $10,000 dream summer vacation, where would you go and what would you do? You can dream exceedingly big when you dream on paper. So dream big! Unfortunately, because of the “economy” people are not only postponing vacations, but they are also not dreaming big.

I remember as a child looking forward to summer vacation. I didn’t like where I went (to my mean aunt’s house in South Carolina), but I liked the idea of the summer break from school and the teachers; who were almost as mean as my aunt! There was something sacred about summer vacation. Remember, it was “winter break” but “summer vacation.” I don’t know about you, but I haven’t had a real summer vacation in a while. Why? Because like most, I have misplaced my “dream mojo.”

Then, I discovered HomeAway. No, it isn't a home remover, but a return of the lost summer vacation. HomeAway is standing up for your rights for the return of the summer vacation; a return of living the abundant life you once dreamed of. I just joined the movement to Save Our Summer Vacation. This movement is petitioning Congress to proclaim August 7 as “National Vacation Day.” It is so cool to sign a petition for something that is in alignment with my dreams. I invite you to join the movement and begin living the life of prosperity and passion you deserve.

These days, many people feel uneasy or stressed out about spending money, but living an abundant life begins with a dream. So, start dreaming! Journal about your $10,000 dream summer vacation, then enter it in the HomeAway Vacation Rentals contest. What the heck? You could dream your dream into reality!

Dream BIG!
Coach Carolyn

12 June 2009

Friday's Purposeful Question

"...Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now." ~ From Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

"What do you most want to know and understand?"

"The most powerful way to control your focus is through the use of questions." ~ Anthony Robbins

Ask bigger questions!
Coach Carolyn

11 June 2009

Don't Make Assumptions

Don Miguel Ruiz' Third Agreement is "Don't Make Assumptions."

Instead of making assumptions about things that happen in your life, why not ask questions?

If someone seems to slight you, reject you, or ignore you, don't immediately jump to the assumption that it has anything to do with you. The person could just be preoccupied with their own stuff. Instead, the next time you see them, state that you saw them but they did not acknowledge you...

"...Just checking to make sure everything is okay with you?"

Don't accuse, criticize, point fingers or judge ~ simply ask. It's about being true and authentic, yet we can do the truth in love.

"Jumping to conclusions must never be the only exercise you ever get!"
Coach Carolyn

10 June 2009

Manifesting Peace Through Love

"Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don't have to like it...it's just easier if you do." ~ Byron Katie

This is one of my favorite “Katie-isms” and one of the most difficult to wrap the mind around, especially if we live in the ego-mind. I love the idea that everything happens for me, for my benefit, to make me the best that I can be.

Once I got the idea that I didn’t have to like everyone but that I had to love them, life just got lovelier. And remember, love is a verb; which means I can just want the best for them and leave them to their higher power. It is not my job to police the universe. It is mine to love.

Love and do whatever you want,
Coach Carolyn

09 June 2009

Life Lessons as Antibodies

"People are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound." ~ James Allen

Acting as the body's army, antibodies are proteins generally found in the blood that detect and destroy invaders, like bacteria and viruses. As humans, we build up enough antibodies to ward off certain diseases, like colds and flues. This is a great metaphor for life. When something seemingly negative happens to us ~ some painful event or someone hurts us, that painful event becomes our antibody.

We need these life lessons to make us the great works of art we were created to become. This also builds up another muscle within us, and that is the empathy muscle. When we have been wronged or hurt, we tend to go one of two ways. Either we move on to hurt others – hurting people hurt people; or we work at not wanting to inflict any hurt on anyone because we know the pain it can cause.

So, when these life lessons, come your way – and they will, do not define them as nuisances; re-define them as the antibodies needed to build up your empathy muscle. STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK…

What was MY part in this painful event?
What am I to learn from this painful event?
What are the blessings from this painful event?

When you can take 100% responsibility for your actions, your circumstances will begin to shift.

Coach Carolyn

08 June 2009

Persevere... with Purpose

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~ Author Unknown

“What is harder than rock or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere.” ~ Ovid

“Ordinary actions consistently done produce extraordinary results.” ~ Jeff Herring

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

The poem Don't Quit says it all.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow-

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out-
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
~ Author unknown

Don't quit before the miracle,
Coach Carolyn

05 June 2009

Friday's Purposeful Question

"...Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now." ~ From Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

What do you have the hardest time accepting?

"Life is an unanswered question, but let's still believe in the dignity and importance of that question." ~ Tennessee Williams

Make it a passionate weekend,
Coach Carolyn

04 June 2009

Take Action and Always Do Your Best

"Action is about living fully. Inaction is the way that we deny life....

A good example of this comes from the story of Forrest Gump. He didn't have great ideas, but he took action. He was happy because he always did his best at whatever he did. He was richly rewarded without expecting any reward at all. Taking action is being alive."

From The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, page 82.

Whatever action you take, just do your best,
Coach Carolyn

03 June 2009

Manifesting Inner Peace with Silence

"Drawing on my fine command of the language... I said nothing." ~ Robert Benchley

Sometimes in order to keep and maintain peace, silence is the best plan. STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

* Does it have to be said?

* Does it have to be said NOW?

* Does it have to be said BY ME?

"We must have reason for speeches but we need none for silence." ~ Wisdom Proverb

Speak only if it's an improvement to silence!
Coach Carolyn

02 June 2009

Conquer Fear with Action

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." ~ Dale Carnegie

Remember, fear can motivate and propels us forward, or fear can paralyze and immobilize us. When we are in a state of paralyzing fear, it will stop us dead in our tracks. Yet, when we step forward in action, our anxiety eases. We begin to pay attention to what’s actually going on instead of being trapped in fearful speculation.

Fear is about looking back at the past and regretting, or looking forward to the future and worrying. Remain in the present moment and fear cannot immobilize, it will merely give us the courage to move forward. And once we have done the thing that we fear, we can do it again and again and again.

Get busy and conquer your fear,
Coach Carolyn