30 October 2009

Friday's Purposeful Question

“…Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

“What random act of kindness will you do this weekend?”

“Life is an unanswered question, but let’s still believe in the dignity and importance of that question. ~ Tennessee Williams

Be kind this weekend and make it a habit,
Coach Carolyn

29 October 2009

Who's Business Are You Minding?

“To master a relationship is all about you. The first step is to become aware, to know that everyone dreams his own dream. Once you know this, you can be responsible for your half of the relationship, which is you. If you know that you are only responsible for half of the relationship, you can easily control your half. It is not up to us to control the other half, if we respect, we know that our partner, or friend, or son, or mother, is completely responsible for his or her own half, there is always going to be peace in that relationship. There is no war.” ~ The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz

Take 100% responsibility for your own life. You cannot control anyone else, only yourself. Master your own thoughts and your own actions. When you can do this, you will eliminate the stress of worrying about someone else’s behavior. Remember, everyone has their own Higher Power and it’s not you!

Author and speaker Byron Katie says there are three kinds of business: mine, yours and God’s. Much of our stress comes from not tending to our own business. We have enough to do by keeping to our own business.

Create peace and mind your own business,
Coach Carolyn

28 October 2009

Have a Belly Laugh

Okay, so yesterday I shared a video for you to have a moving moment. How did it feel? Comment and let me know.

Not to keep you in that state. Here is a video sent to me by my dear coach Kristin. It's a comedy skit by comedian Brian Regan. Now normally I am not big on stand up. In fact, I can't stand stand up! But this guy had me in tears... tears of laughter, that is. See for yourself. Enjoy!

27 October 2009

Plunging Into Forgotten Spaces

Welcome to the 4th Annual Bathroom Blogfest! Brought to you by Kaboom!

This is my third blogfest and opportunity to blog about bathrooms, one of my favorite rooms! The one thing about bathrooms is that we all need them. So, it is interesting that they would be known as the forgotten spaces. Though, we cannot forget about them for too long, because the nose knows!

I am constantly teaching about using bathrooms to our advantage, especially as women. We may be told lots of things; we may be told that we cannot do lots of things. But I dare say, there will be hell to pay if someone tells us that we cannot go to the ladies room!

Because I drink lots of water and tea, I visit bathrooms quite frequently. I have even taken to carrying my own ladies room kit so as to feel comfortable in just about any bathroom. Yes, you need to carry a kit. Not all bathrooms are properly equipped with even the basic necessities. What’s in my kit? Tissues, antibacterial wipes, paper towels, soap leaves, and mirror. And ladies, I’m talking a nice healthy supply of tissues and such. One square simply won’t do. These items are small enough to carry in the smallest evening handbag, though I prefer carrying luggage, but that’s for another blogfest!

Doing grief work with women, I advocate using bathrooms for more than the norm. There is also the occasional need to have a tearful timeout. Where else can you go? Need to get away from Mr. Toxicity for a minute or fifteen? Simply excuse yourself with a nature calls announcement. Only you and Mother Nature know the truth! But I’ll tell you, another minute with Mr. Toxicity and nature won’t be calling… but I digress….

Now, ladies, it’s tricky to get away from those toxic and overbearing mothers because they are of the same gender and use the same bathroom and will likely follow us into the ladies room. So, if your bathroom of choice is not a solo number, time for some quick thinking. The old stomach ache won’t work, remember, she changed your diapers. Okay, here’s one: tell mom it’s time for your five minute chi gong prana exercise and you’ll be back in five. Chances are, she won’t know what that is!

Any other ideas? Post them in the comments here. Would love to read.

For this blogfest, we got our first sponsor, Kaboom Bathroom Cleaners. I must say, I couldn’t wait to try these products. I absolutely love a clean bathroom and Kaboom delivers. I love that these products do things, like foam up and turn from blue to white. I like cleansers that help you clean. I am about doing things with ease. I will not scrub. I will not scour. This is not my passion or purpose in life. When I was seven, I never told anyone that when I grow up I want to be a scrubber! You notice, scrubbing equipment was not part of my kit. I love Kaboom because it does the scrubbing so I don’t have to. Check out Kaboom and stop scrubbing!

My fellow bloggers participating in the 2009 Bathroom Blogfest. Give ‘em a shout!

• Susan Abbott at Customer Experience Crossroads
• Reshma Anand at Qualitative Research Blog ht
• Shannon Bilby at From the Floors Up
• Shannon Bilby and Brad Millner at My Big Bob’s Blog
• Laurence Borel at Blog Till You Drop
• Jeanne Byington at The Importance of Earnest Service
• Becky Carroll at Customers Rock!
• Leslie Clagett at KB Culture
• Katie Clark at Practical Katie
• Iris Shreve Garrott at Checking In and Checking Out
• Julie at Julie’s Cleaning Secrets Blog
• Marianna Hayes at Results Revolution
• Maria Palma at People To People Service
• Professor Toilet at Professor Toilet’s Blog
• David Reich at My 2 Cents
• Bethany Richmond at The Carpet and Rug Institute Blog
• Stephanie Weaver at Experienceology
• C.B. Whittemore at Flooring The Consumer and Simple Marketing Blog
• Linda Wright at Lindaloo.com: Build Better Business with Better Bathrooms

Thanks to Stephanie, Susan and C.B. for being the hot blog mamas for this event. You rock!

Here’s to plunging into those forgotten spaces. And don't forget your kits!
Coach Carolyn

Have A Moving Moment

As women of purpose, we must live into all of our feelings. After all, that is why we have them, to feel them, to live them, to journey with them. I like to intentionally create feelings to live into. So, when I need to have a good cry, I manifest a "moving moment." When I need a good laugh, I manifest that.

So, when I need a good cry, I watch the Everything Skit YouTube video. This may not resonate with everyone, but it sends me into a crying fit. And oh, how cathartic it feels! I love it! So I am sharing the video here. The song, Everything, is by a group called LifeHouse. Get the hankies and enjoy!

26 October 2009

Oh, Mother! Your Authentic Self

This past weekend we had another awesome BWP Meetup where 18 women came out on a rainy day to play, learn, and gain new awarenesses. From our topic of Live Your Best Life NOW, the issue of toxic or negative mothers came up. Well, go figure!

I just want to say a few words about this. One of the reasons we as adults are not getting on with Mother is because we are not comfortable with ourselves. If we don’t know who we are, we cannot live into that truth, hence, we have to defend ourselves against what everyone else expects of us, especially our mothers. Remember, of all our relationships, our mothers had the highest expectations of us, whether expressed or not. And when we hem and haw, go back and forth, it seems frustrating to mother, and mother will tell us so.

Go to your secret place and figure out what you truly want to be, do, and have. Stop planning to do it and just do it! Once you get real about what you want to be, do, and have, you will show up more authentic and people will resonate with your authentic self instead of your false self. You teach people how to treat you. If people are beating up on you, abusing you in someway, or treating you badly, then you have allowed this to happen and in essence, gave your consent to this type of behavior. STOP! TAKE A BREATH! and ASK

“What is my part in this mistreatment from… mother, sibling, boss, co-worker, etc?”

And yes, you do have a part in this. If you are being mistreated on one area or with one specific relationship, then chances are there is more mistreatment in some other area of your life. Find the pattern and break the cycle. Treat yourself like a queen first. No one else will until you do first. No, I am not talking about lording it over people and acting like you are better than…. I am talking about knowing not just who you are, but whose you are. You are a daughter of the Infinite Goodness, the Divine Creator. Stop acting like the secondary character in your own life story. You are the leading lady. Show up, step up and step into your role.

When you can do this, you will be amazed that everyone in your life, including Mother, will fall into alignment with how you are being. BE who you were created to be and not some bad copy of someone else.

Here’s to living your authentic life!
Coach Carolyn

23 October 2009

Friday's Purposeful Question

“…Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

“What am I needing right now in this moment?”

“Your soul will always call the answer to you when you are ready for it.”

“You can tell a woman is clever by her answers. You can tell she is wise by her questions.”

Coach Carolyn

22 October 2009

Book Review: Kiss Me Again

It seems as if the issues around relationships and especially the loss of them are prevalent. When I signed on to do this review, I thought this book was a romance novel. The title says it all: Kiss Me Again! Then, I read it. Not a novel, but very refreshing and novel in its approach.

Barbara Wilson, author of Kiss Me Again: Restoring Lost Intimacy in Marriage, says that many married women genuinely want to feel more desire toward their husbands. But while sex before marriage was hard to resist, now resisting seems like all they do. In her new book, she shows how couples can suffer for years from the “invisible bonds” of previous relationships without even knowing it. Hidden emotions of distrust, shame, and resentment can sabotage even the most loving marriage.

In the book, Barbara shares her own story of healing and renewed desire, helps women forgive themselves and their husbands for past choices and shows readers how to break free from “invisible bonds” while helping couples reignite the passion that they thought was lost, and all from a biblical perspective.

With assessment tools, write-in exercises, and gentle guidance, Kiss Me Again offers a biblical plan for rekindling the closeness and passion women long for in marriage. Because no past is beyond the reach of God’s healing touch.

Just from reading some of the questions, I was opened up in ways I did not expect. I invite you to visit the Random House website and purchase Kiss Me Again if you desire the passion in your marriage that you thought was lost.

This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

Coach Carolyn

21 October 2009

Laughter, Bingo, Chakras and T-Shirts

One of our BWP women of purpose mentioned that she was interested in selling T-shirts; and I know other women who jumped on this bandwagon as well. And as I have absolutely nothing to do all day except think, I got to thinking.

I remember when I was going through my grieving process, I would have loved to have a T-shirt that said: “Grieving, please handle with prayer” or something like that. Living in New York City, there are T-shirt vendors near all the tourist spots selling “I Heart NYC” T-shirts, among other more colorful languaged wear. I have even discovered that there are custom Bingo T-shirts. Is that a riot? Bingo Fashion! Yes, apparently folks still play bingo. I would love it if instead of numbers, they would call out the chakras. But that would only go up to seven, wouldn’t it? Oh well. But I digress….

There are literally T-shirts for any occasion – from vintage to the truly outlandish and everything in between. If you cannot find the one you want, then have it custom made. The one thing I love about T-shirts is that they are unisex and one size does fit all… or most.

So, I got to thinking about this journey of discovery we are all on. You know, coming to awarenesses and being awakened. Wouldn’t it be fun to have progress T-shirts? Everything from “I am still asleep,” to “Had an AHA!” to “One eye opened,” to “KABOOM!” with a picture of a brick labeled “awareness.”

How about “Dealing with fear today, so please don’t sneak up behind me!” ROTFLOL! Sorry, sometimes I crack myself up! We take all this personal growth so serious. Yet, I’ll wager that every one of you owns at least one T-shirt.

My two favorite T-shirt slogans:

“The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist.”

“Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.” Here, you snap your fingers in Z formation!

Free Bingo, anyone?

Laugh and buy a T-shirt!
Coach Carolyn

Dare... Change

Saw this video. Had the share. Dare. Change.

Coach Carolyn

20 October 2009

Friendships in Times of Fear

One of the best ways to help dispel your fears is to reach out to a good friend. Not those fair weathered friends, but a true friend. Sometimes just talking things out helps you to come to a rational conclusion about something. What is true friendship? Here are a few reminders.

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile...it's the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration." ~ Pearl S. Buck

"Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief." ~ Joseph Addison

When in fear and doubt, give a shout out to a true friend. That’s what friends are for!
Coach Carolyn

19 October 2009

Finding Intentional Love

When I sent out the word for prayer intentions, I stated three areas of intention: Relationships, Business & Career, and Health & Wellness. As I am recording the intentions, the longest list is for healing in the area of relationships. Also, on the BWP Meetup Forum, I started a thread with the question: “What's keeping you stuck?” once again, relationships led the way.

A couple of years ago, I led a three evening workshop for a singles group called The Joy of Living on Purpose for Singles. The comments and realizations were astonishing, sad but astonishing. I found that we are looking for love in all the wrong places. We are looking for love to feel complete – the proverbial lone sock, as one woman stated. It is difficult to be alone in a couple-oriented society. Don’t you love it when you walk in a restaurant, and the server or host asks: “Just one?” Like it’s some kind of cootie disease. I have now begin answering, “Yes, the one and only!”

Unlike, a great career or passion, we don’t properly prepare for a loving relationship. Oh yes, we certainly expect it, but without any preparation or planning. We simply jump in with the first person to come along who has a pulse.

“Is he breathing? Okay, then he'll do!”

Hold on, now. You are worth so much more than that. But if you treat your romantic or even platonic relationships this way, don’t expect to receive too much from them. You get what you pay for, if I may be so blunt. If you put nothing into the preparation, then you will receive even less. Believe me, I know.

Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction, offers ten top things to do to manifest your soul mate. She writes:

Prior to meeting Brian ten years ago, I had a daily ritual in which I would light several candles at sunset, put on my favorite CD of Gregorian chants and sit in my big, cozy chair. With my eyes closed I would drop into the feeling of remembering the joy of having my soul mate in my life. I would experience these wonderful feelings in every part of my body KNOWING that he was on the way. There were days when the thought that he was very late did cross my mind but I would just let those thoughts go and get back into a state of grace….feeling and knowing that his arrival was assured.

To manifest your soul mate here are the ten top things to do and remember:

• Be the loving person that you are. Find ways to express more love to everyone in your life.
• Live in the knowingness that you are in a loving, committed relationship.
• Live that truth every day as you savor the waiting for your beloved to arrive.
• Create a “vision map” of your romantic vision and look at it daily.
• Write a list of the most important qualities your soul mate will possess.
• Heal your heart of any past hurts that will prevent you from magnetizing big love.
• Clear out the clutter in your home and create space for your beloved (especially in your closets).
• Create an altar in the relationship corner of your home.
• Listen to your intuition to take action when opportunities present themselves.
• Fall in love with yourself. Know that you are lovable.

Check out the First 30 Days website to read the rest of Arielle’s article. BTW, Arielle is Debbie Ford's sister. Totally rockin' women!

Also, check out Arielle's website, The Soulmate Secret. The video on the homepage is kickass funny!

Ladies, I totally love myself and anyone who’s down with that, can come along. Otherwise, get to steppin’!

Coach Carolyn

16 October 2009

I Take The Vow

If you want to show your commitment to peace but don’t know where to start, consider taking a vow of nonviolence. On November 7, 2008, 500 attendees at the Alliance for a New Humanity Human Forum in Barcelona took a vow for nonviolence in their speech, thoughts and actions. They asked others to join them in taking this vow. Now, President and Founder of the Alliance, Deepak Chopra, is asking you to help them reach their goal of 100 million people.
Imagine how the world would be transformed if a critical mass committed to nonviolence!

Taking the vow is simple. The Alliance asks you to close your eyes, put your awareness in your heart and ask yourself if you are willing to commit to nonviolence in speech, thought and action. Then find two people to take the vow with you. That’s it.

If you’d like to help bring about “a world of peace, harmony, laughter and love,” go to this site.

Take the vow. I did!
Coach Carolyn

15 October 2009

Blog Action Day: Climate Change

Blog Action Day is an annual event that unites the world's bloggers in posting about the same issue on the same day on their own blogs with the aim of sparking discussion around an issue of global importance. This year, the issue is Climate Change.

Climate Change is an issue that connects with our peace, and especially as women we feel things very deeply. For most of us, our environment creates our reality. When it is a gray, rainy day, we tend to be a bit more sullen than we are on a bright sunny day.

Groucho Marx once observed, "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be…” As I have taught in my workshops and women’s circles, we cannot change the external events, whatever they may be. However, we do have the power to choose our attitude towards that event. The climate is definitely one thing we seem to have no control over, though we can change our behavior to alter future events. If we are doing the same destructive behavior, then we will get the same destructive results. These results we cannot change.

Here is the good news: we can shift into constructive behaviors in order to achieve more constructive results. We have altered our realities, thus altered how we show up to life.

Now, the Gospel According to Carolyn: I believe that when we can make the shift to more positive, creative, and life-sustaining behaviors, it will have a more favorable effect on our environment, thus creating healthier living. Enough said.

One of my favorite songs by Michael Jackson is “Man in the Mirror”:

“I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change…”

So, just for today, Blog Action Day ~ make a change to create a new reality.

And… for a bit of perspective…

…some of the realities of women’s rights and climate change from an article from Oxfam Canada:

* Women are more likely to die during natural disasters than men.
* Climate change is deepening the food crisis for women and their families.
* Climate change leads to increased illness and disease and women are the primary caregivers for the sick.
* Indigenous women bear a triple burden despite decades demanding international action on the environment.
* Climate change makes women’s long workday even longer.
* Global warming increases the likelihood of armed conflict, including violence against women.
* Women have the knowledge and skills to adapt to climate change and to find a sustainable path out of poverty.

Visit Oxfam Canada to read the rest of the article.

We can be the change we wish to see in this world!
Coach Carolyn

14 October 2009

A Rose Is A Rose: Watch Your Labels

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." ~ Lao Tzu

How do you label yourself? How do you label others?

Be aware that any label is limiting. Labels stick us in a box where there’s no room to move.

Just for today, experience how it feels to let go of the labels to rest in ‘I am.’ Feel the freedom, the spaciousness, the infinite potential of simply being.

"As long as I am this or that, I am not all things." ~ Meister Eckhart

"Your only limitations are those you set up in your mind, or permit others to set up for you." ~ Og Mandino

Brought to you by Higher Awareness

The Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard once said, "When you label me, you negate me."

Watch the words you attach to your I AM... because they become your reality.

Coach Carolyn

13 October 2009

Is It Fear or Faith?

"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith." ~ Mary Manin Morrissey

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ From A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, page 191

Believe in the faith of your dreams and not the fear of them.
Coach Carolyn

12 October 2009

What Are You Choosing?

"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." ~ Groucho Marx

Circumstances will happen in life. Some we may have had a hand in, others not. The past is the past and we cannot change or control it. We must simply accept it as the past, take the lesson and move on. It does no good to dwell on the past or on events we have no control over.
When we can see every event or situation as a learning experience, then we will not live our lives in victim-mode. That too is a choice – there are no victims, only volunteers. So, which are you choosing to be?

"Being miserable is a habit. Being happy is a habit. The choice is yours." ~ Tom Hopkins

Choose wisely,
Coach Carolyn

09 October 2009

Purposeful Weekend Reflection…

The final Grace Card for the week is DEVOTION: Stay connected to the Divine. Pray, express your gratitude, or ask for help out loud. Make the practice of devotion a daily habit.

I am eternally grateful for Cheryl Richardson for creating these Grace Cards. In all my gatherings including my women’s circles and my BWP Meetups, I open with the Grace Cards. They are so beautifully illustrated and everyone gets the card that call to their hearts; not their heads but their hearts. I always tell the women to let the card pick them instead of them picking the card. And it works!

At the Elizabeth Seton Women’s Center here in NYC where we hold our gatherings, the cards are generously displayed in a glass bowl for our use. The directors, Arlie and Karen, even gave me my own deck for a birthday gift!

So, for this weekend, begin making the practice of devotion a daily habit. Express gratitude. Pray. Ask for help – out loud! And stay connected to the Divine.

In loving devotion,
Coach Carolyn

08 October 2009

For Every Action…

"Every action has a reaction, and for all of our life we repeat our actions and suffer the same reactions. Perhaps we cannot see the action or the choices when we make them, but we are always going to see the reactions, the results of what we do. Many times there are things in our lives that we don’t like, that we want to change, but we make the same mistakes, the same choices, expecting that the result will be different. Well, it will not be different.

"The only way to change your life is to change the choices, to change the actions. If there is something in your life that you don’t like, first you have to be aware that it is the result of something that you do. It’s the result of a choice that you made. Then if you take one step back and focus your attention on what is happening just before that result, you will find what you did that isn’t working, what you did that caused the result you don’t want.

"Once you find out what action you took, the next step is to forgive the reaction and change the choice, change the action, and see that the reaction is. If you don't like the result again, you change it again and again until you have the result you want."
~ From The Four Agreements Companion Book by Don Miguel Ruiz

Remember, the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Stop the cycle of insanity and change your action. Become aware and make a new choice.

Grace Card:
ACT: Charge forward. When we combine action with unwavering faith, the power of grace will meet our needs.

Coach Carolyn

07 October 2009

Live in “What Is”

“If you want peace, stop fighting. If you want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thoughts.” ~ Peter McWilliams

One of the ways I have found to have and maintain true peace of mind, is to stop resisting what is. When we can live in “what is” and not “what if” then we can experience true peace of mind.

“Cultivate peace of mind which does not separate one's self from one's surroundings. When that is done successfully, then everything else follows naturally." ~ Robert M. Prisig

Grace Card:
Peace: When we balance silence with activity, we discover true peace of mind – the source of all joy and happiness.

Coach Carolyn

Book Review: Extraordinary

“Isn’t it true that we long to see the extraordinary, experience the extraordinary, do the extraordinary? Yet, so often we settle for mediocrity when greatness is within our grasp.” ~ From the Back Cover

That’s the question that troubles many believers: “Why am I not experiencing more joy, more hope, more satisfaction, more intimacy, more power, more everything in my Christian life – didn’t Jesus promise that?”

In his newest release, Extraordinary, author and speaker John Bevere, takes you on a journey of discovering your extraordinary lives. Bevere builds a convincing case, straight from Scripture, for a way of living marked by extraordinary experiences and accomplishments – the life God always intended for his children.

God did promise an abundant life, but too many people are trapped by the curse of “the ordinary.” They have accepted the wrong idea that following God means losing individuality, creativity, and a passion for achieving lofty goals. Here is a guide to understanding God’s incredible plans, and how to enjoy a life where he adds the “extra” to “ordinary.”

“I see a generation comprised of all ages, inclusive of men and women, awakening to the extraordinary qualities hidden within. The power to accomplish remarkable feats and live an exceptional life is not defined by an individual’s family, education, or occupation; it’s a disposition of the heart. Unless it’s suppressed, there is an innate desire to rise above the norm. I encourage you to step into the unknown, embrace the divine empowerment, and live your extraordinary life.” ~ John Bevere

If you are plagued by the curse of mediocrity, then you need to read this book. It will set you on a course to unlock your gift to living an Extraordinary life.

Here's to living your extraordinary life!
Coach Carolyn

06 October 2009

Take A Chance… Do It Afraid

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." ~ Alan Cohen

One of the things that fear does is it causes the “fight or flight” reaction. I call it a reaction and not a response because there is no time to really discern which you are going to do – you just react! You quickly assess whether you are strong enough to fight, or not strong enough so you run away.

Now this is a brilliant reaction to have when you are facing physical or emotional danger. But if it is a perceived fear or a false fear, then you must assess differently. And sometimes it is best to just take a chance, do the thing you are afraid of and transcend the fear. Unless you conquer the fear, it will continue to conquer you.

When facing a fear, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

“What’s the worse thing that could happen in this situation?”

Usually the worse thing never happens. Like author and humorist Mark Twain once quipped, “I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened!”

So just for today, take a chance and do it afraid.

Grace Card:
: Take the leap. Divine protection is always by our side.

Coach Carolyn

05 October 2009

Trust in Divine Timing

If a book told you something when you were fifteen, it will tell you it again when you're fifty, though you may understand it so differently that it seems you're reading a whole new book.” ~ Ursula K. Le Guin

One of the Universal Laws is the Law of Gender. This Law speaks of timing. When you plant a seed, you must give that seed the proper gestation time; otherwise, nothing will grow. And so it is with you. Personal growth and development works the same way. It takes time. But not just time where you wait and do nothing. It is during this gestation period that you are to water and nurture the seed. It is about taking the inspired action necessary to have healthy growth.

You must realize that it is just not your time. You may read a book, attend a seminar, listen to a teleclass and get nothing from it except a lot of theories and facts. Two years later, you hear the same material, now you are ready to not only hear the message, but implement it into your life.

So if you are drawn to some information but have no idea what to do with it in the moment – simply wait for divine timing. It will definitely lead you in the right direction.

Grace Card:
Patience: Trust in Divine timing. Your future holds something far greater than your past.

Coach Carolyn

02 October 2009

Friday's Purposeful Question

“…Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now." ~ From Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

"Are you a people pleaser?"

“Your soul will always call the answer to you when you are ready for it.”

Coach Carolyn

01 October 2009


There is an oft quoted book title by Terry Cole-Whittaker called, What You Think of Me Is None of My Business. This is in keeping with the second agreement of Don Miguel Ruiz' The Four Agreements, Don’t Take Anything Personally.

I remember my seventh grade Math teacher, Miss Lowe, telling one of the more nosy students, “Excuse me! M.Y.O.B.!” Everyone in the class laughed. I found it a profound statement then, as I do today, some thirty plus years later. Today it isn’t politically correct to tell someone to mind their own business, though we think it enough. Yet, when someone says something offensive to you, instead of having to tell them to mind their business, how about remembering it is just that ~ their business. What someone else thinks of you is none of your business.

The second agreement, Don’t Take Anything Personally can relieve you of lots of suffering because you can go through life not being offended by what other people say or think about you.

Yes, but she hurt my feelings!” you counter.

And I counter back: No she didn’t. It is not her fault that something she says pushes one of your buttons. You have the button there to be pushed. Fix your buttons!

I once had a co-worker named Mara. I loved Mara. She was raw and straight to the point. She would say exactly what she thought, whether you asked or not. Then, guess what would happen? Yep, you guessed it. The person she directed her comment to would be offended. And I loved Mara’s comeback. You see, she would never come out and just apologize for her remark. She would say, “I am sorry that what I said hurt your feelings!” Mara understood that she could have said the exact same thing to another, and it would have absolutely no effect on them. But for some reason, it caused ranker in this person.

So, M.Y.O.B. Mind your own business and stop taking things so personally. You will find, life will get much sweeter!

Are you fixing those buttons?
Coach Carolyn