Suffering Is Optional

"People suffer because they are caught in their views. As soon as we release those views, we are free and we don't suffer anymore." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

I love the slogan: “Pain is inevitable; but suffering is optional.”

When I first heard this about ten years ago, I ceased and desist with the suffering. I realized that I did not have to suffer – I chose to suffer. Yes, crap still goes on all around you. But how do you choose to view the crap? If you view crap as crap, then your life will be full of crap. But if you view crap as fertilizer, then your life will flourish. Get the picture?

Remember, you have the power to create your reality; to write your own story. If you don’t like the life you are living, then do something about it. Once we recognize this power within, then we can be at peace. There is no peace until we let go of the suffering.

Then, just do it!

Friday's Purposeful Question

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

“In order to stay awake and be able to create a future that reflects our goals, we need to question the present. We need to question every choice we make and look at the positive or negative consequences of our actions if we are to align our daily actions with our deepest desires.” ~ Debbie Ford, The Right Questions

Author and teacher Byron Katie says that when you question your stressful thoughts, the freedom that comes out of that graces the world for all of us.

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your questions. So, what questions are you asking?

"What do you do to maintain your sense of peace and positivity?" 

"It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." ~ Decouvertes

Pray for Positivity and Peace

In light of the tragic events that have been going on in our world, I thought I would share this video blog entry from Gabrielle Bernstein of Gabby.TV. Her message is positive, prayerful and compassionate. Enjoy and don't forget to pray for peace throughout this world. Be blessed.

Friday's Purposeful Question

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Author and teacher Byron Katie says that when you question your stressful thoughts, the freedom that comes out of that graces the world for all of us.

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your questions. So, what questions are you asking?

"What did you complain about this week? Did you find a solution to your complaint?"

“You can tell whether a woman is clever by her answers. You can tell whether she is wise by her questions.” ~ attributed to Naguib Mahfouz

Stop Complaining - Solve the Problem!

"Whine, whine! How about some cheese with that whine!"

Our next victim-making gremlin, limiting behavior, is complaining. Do you constantly complain? Do you hang out with chronic complainers? What are the complaints about? Are there solutions to those plights or is it just better to complain?

“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.” ~ Anthony J. D'Angelo

My first job out of college was on a government complaint hotline. I heard complaints all day - for a living! After awhile, I could tell the genuine complainers from those who just wanted to complain. 

To complain means to express displeasure or discontentment. We all know someone who just likes to complain. They won’t do anything about changing the situation; they just want to complain about it.

If you have such a complainer in your life, then I challenge you to challenge them! Sit down with them and do the truth in love. Do not judge them (another limiting behavior) because it will only make them more defensive – giving them more reason to complain. Rather, ask them what would they prefer to see instead of what’s disturbing them. Can they do anything to bring that alternative about? If yes, then devise a plan to do so; and if not, then let it go and deal with something you do have control over.

And if you are the chronic complainer, then I challenge you to STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

• What am I complaining about?
• What is the real issue here?
• Can I control it or change it?

If you can control or change it, then get to it; and if not, then let it go!

We often complain because it makes up for the situation we don’t want to deal with. There is usually some underlying cause that we don’t want to look at – so we complain about a surface issue that really has nothing to do with the root cause.

For example: A mother who constantly complains about her son who has turned out to behave very careless and reckless. The son is mentally ill, though undiagnosed, and therefore untreated. The complaints are the son never takes care of his affairs – his children, his home, himself.

Root cause: The mother did not help the son in the beginning when she had the chance to make an impact – to get him the help he so desperately needed. Had she intervened earlier, she might have nipped it in the bud.

Now, there will always be extenuating circumstances to every issue, but the bottom line is to determine the root cause of the complaining; especially if it’s constant and about the same issue.

So, just for today, think about your complaining habits and make a conscious effort to eliminate complaining from your life.

Friday's Purposeful Question

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

“In order to stay awake and be able to create a future that reflects our goals, we need to question the present. We need to question every choice we make and look at the positive or negative consequences of our actions if we are to align our daily actions with our deepest desires.” ~ Debbie Ford, The Right Questions

Author and teacher Byron Katie says that when you question your stressful thoughts, the freedom that comes out of that graces the world for all of us.

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your questions. So, what questions are you asking?

"Are you taking complete responsibility for your life or are you blaming someone else for your circumstances?" 

"It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." ~ Decouvertes

Are You Playing the Blame Game?

Do you ever play the blame game? I cannot state enough how truly damaging this behavior can be. It absolutely keeps you living a small, sad existence and you will never show up as the divine bright light you truly are.

“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Wikipedia defines blame as: the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise.

Yes, we have all had something done to us or against us. As children, we were victims of our circumstances because we were not in control of our choices or our lives. Today, as mature adults, we do have control over the choices we make and I am here to tell you that everything is a choice. Even when you choose not to make a choice – it is still a choice!

I do not say condone or ignore poor or inappropriate behavior, but anything done to you was done in the past. You must forgive the past and move on; or you will never live a happy and peaceful present or future.

When you continue to blame someone or something outside of yourself, you are essentially giving away your power; which renders you powerless. Being powerless keeps you stuck in the role of victim; and in the grand scheme of life, there are no victims, only volunteers. When you continue to cast blame on something or someone outside of yourself, you are in essence signing up to be victim – that is the choice you are making; albeit an unconscious choice.

So, just for today, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

• What was my part in this situation?
• For what purpose have I attracted it into my life? (Remember, it takes two to tango!)
• What are the lessons and the blessings in this situation?

Friday's Purposeful Question

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

“In order to stay awake and be able to create a future that reflects our goals, we need to question the present. We need to question every choice we make and look at the positive or negative consequences of our actions if we are to align our daily actions with our deepest desires.” ~ Debbie Ford, The Right Questions

Author and teacher Byron Katie says that when you question your stressful thoughts, the freedom that comes out of that graces the world for all of us.

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your questions. So, what questions are you asking?

"Where have you NOT minded your own business this past week?" 

"It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." ~ Decouvertes

Mind Your Own Business!

“To master a relationship is all about you. The first step is to become aware, to know that everyone dreams his own dream. Once you know this, you can be responsible for your half of the relationship, which is you. If you know that you are only responsible for half of the relationship, you can easily control your half. It is not up to us to control the other half, if we respect, we know that our partner, or friend, or son, or mother, is completely responsible for his or her own half, there is always going to be peace in that relationship. There is no war.” ~ The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz

Take 100% responsibility for your own life. You cannot control anyone else, only yourself. Master your own thoughts and your own actions. When you can do this, you will eliminate the stress of worrying about someone else’s behavior. Remember, everyone has their own Higher Power and it’s not you!

Author and speaker Byron Katie says there are three kinds of business: mine, yours and God’s. Much of our stress comes from not tending to our own business. We have enough to do by keeping to our own business.

Create peace and mind your own business!