Lying on Purpose... What Happpened to Integrity?

“A lie is an abomination unto the Lord, and a very present help in trouble.” (a combination of Proverbs 12:22 and Psalms 46:1) ~ Anonymous (of course, who would admit this?)

As I have been ill with sinusitis and very bad allergies over the past few weeks, I have had lots of down time. One of the things I couldn’t escape, even watching public television, is the election process. The one thing that really struck me with all the ads is the tag line, “I am _________, and I approve this message.” I know this began a few elections back because one of the candidates published an ad of blatant lies. Now campaign candidates have to let the public know that the ads that bare their names are truth.

Perhaps I am naïve, but I find this absolutely appalling. I am not that old, but there was a time when a person’s word meant something. A handshake was as good as a legal contract. What happened to those times? What did I miss? My question is what happened to integrity? What happened to those days when I could look someone in the eye and know that they were honest? Has truth and honesty fallen by the wayside? Is being a person of integrity now something to be ashamed of? Today, in order to play the game of the world, our first assumption must be that the person in front of us is not telling the truth.

Along this same vein, our nation tried to impeach one president because he committed adultery and lied about it. Yet, we refuse to see, let alone condemn, the president who lied about our safety and went to war with another country. I find this appalling. Why doesn’t someone call to task that lie – a lie that has resulted in devastating violence, murder, and destruction? Is it just me? Am I that naïve?

As a small child, when I was caught in a lie, I was whooped like there was no tomorrow. I watched the movie Pinocchio, and it had an impact. I hated my nose anyway, and I didn’t want it any longer. Today, it is socially and politically acceptable to lie. Lying is next to blackberries, text messages, and Facebook. I am not that naïve; I know that there will always be some level of lying in life. Women lie about their age, their true hair color (remember I Love Lucy?), and we lie about “our first time.” I love the language: little white lie (what color are the huge ones?); coloring the truth; fudging the truth; political double speak; just to name a few. Though it is still unacceptable to be called a liar to one’s face. The legal system calls it perjury. Yet, the government can do it with ease and violence. If I did it, I would feel guilty and probably get caught. I don’t have a poker face.

Okay, I hope I get well soon, because I am getting way too serious. Just kidding! But I would be interested in hearing some of your views around this issue. And no lying!

Just venting with integrity, on purpose!

Coach Carolyn

Yes, Life is Difficult... Now What?

“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” ~ Michael Jordan, basketball star

Throughout the course of my coaching practice, with individuals and groups, I often hear women say things like, “But it’s so hard!” or “That’s easier said than done.”

M. Scott Peck’s wonderful book The Road Less Traveled opens with the line, “Life is difficult.” So, my question as a coach is yes, life is difficult, now what? Okay, we have established that life is difficult, life is full of obstacles, challenges, disappointments, and upsets. That is a given. Life is about change – that nasty little concept that keeps rearing its ugly, yet necessary head.

The truth of the matter is that change is inevitable and life is difficult. We weren’t promised anything less. So my advice is to get over it! Accept the fact that life is filled with challenges and obstacles and either make the choice to journey through it or get out of the way of others who want to. If we just sit in the fact that everything is so hard, then we will never grow or progress as we were created to.

And here is the news flash: Everything is easier said than done! Everything! It is easier to just speak words of positive affirmation than to actually live them. It is easier to just say I want financial abundance than to take the necessary steps to make it so. It is easier to just speak out what I want my life to look like for 2008. Absolutely. But unless we take the action to make it so, yes, life will remain difficult and stagnate. Everything in life is easier said than done, everything takes a level of effort, commitment and action to make it a reality.

The word I hear very often associated with this is stuck, which simply means fixed or baffled. We have turned being stuck as an excuse to stand still and not move or act at all. I am about redefining our terms. Try seeing being stuck as a time to be still and ask some questions about the process; allowing you to then make one small step towards progress. Whatever we need to do to turn the difficulties of life into amazing opportunities for growth and creativity, then by all means do it! You are the author of your life. It is your story, write and rewrite as necessary.

Not that I am endorsing any product, but it would be great if we all went out and purchased one of the Staples Easy Button. When we are faced with a difficult decision or action to take, and we take one small step, we can press the easy button and hear, “That was easy!” Once we have taken one step, the second is not as hard. The tag line for the Easy Button says, "Don't stress it, press it!" Listen, the choice is yours.

Life, though difficult, continues to move forward. You are older right now than you were when you began reading this post. Stop wasting precious time that can never be retrieved. Make the conscious choice to refuse to wallow in the fact that life is difficult and that everything is so hard. Make the conscious choice and commitment to take the necessary action to create your best year ever!

Here’s to creating your best year ever!
Coach Carolyn

A Perspective on Time

Since we are now into 2008, a word about time would be quite purposeful. This piece is from Higher Awareness.

"Be mindful of how you approach time. Watching the clock is not the same as watching the sun rise." ~ Sophia Bedford-Pierce

What would your soul consider a waste of time?

To a soul, the only real time is right NOW. Not the future or the past. It lives in connecting deeply with the rich experience of each moment. Through awareness we can be in touch with our authentic self and how it perceives all of the energies and guidance around and within us.

"Chronos is clocks, deadlines, watches, calendars, agendas, planners, schedules, beepers. Chronos is time at her worst. Chronos keeps track. ...Chronos is the world's time. Kairos is transcendence, infinity, reverence, joy, passion, love, the Sacred. Kairos is intimacy with the Real. Kairos is time at her best. ...Kairos is Spirit's time. We exist in chronos. We long for kairos. That's our duality. Chronos requires speed so that it won't be wasted. Kairos requires space so that it might be savored. We do in chronos. In kairos we're allowed to be ... It takes only a moment to cross over from chronos into kairos, but it does take a moment. All that kairos asks is our willingness to stop running long enough to hear the music of the spheres." ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

"He who postpones the hour of living rightly is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses." ~ Horace

Be mindful on purpose,

Coach Carolyn

How Do You Measure a Year?

One of my favorite blogs is from the Rebel Belle. She is so much fun! I just loved this post and couldn’t resist passing it along to you. It sums up the year in such a big way by quoting one of my favorite musical songs, "Seasons of Love" from the musical “Rent.”

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes, how do you measure a year?

In Daylights - In Sunsets; In Midnights - In Cups Of CoffeeIn Inches - In Miles; In Laughter - In Strife

In - Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes - How Do You Measure A Year?

How About Love? Will you measure Life In Love, in Seasons of Love? Love is a gift from up above. Share love, give love, spread love. MEASURE YOUR LIFE IN LOVE!

As this year comes to a close, I’m reminded (by one of my favorite songs from the musical “Rent“) to measure the love. And, to spend time in GRATITUDE for the people, relationships, experiences and circumstances that have blessed my life.

This says so much. You measure a year by how much you have given and received love. Then celebrate in gratefulness. Everything else will flow from this. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to share with you all and give love through my words and message.

I look forward to more abundance and prosperity in 2008 as I wish the same for all of you. Happy New Year to you all!

Measure your life in love,

Coach Carolyn