“Then Queen Esther…wrote with full authority…” ~ Esther 9:29a
“So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife… and she bore a son.” ~ Ruth 4:13
How you behave in the darkness of the wilderness determines how long you remain in the darkness of the wilderness. Both Ruth and Esther, very unlikely women, found tremendous favor in the eyes of God and the people. Yes, they definitely went through the dark wilderness – the anguish, the sorrow, the pain of loss, fear and great desolation. And yet, they both journeyed through that darkness with their eyes not on their own bitterness and pain, but on the light of faith and hope that shined from within. They turned to their own divine light; that inner wisdom of divine grace that lay deep within.
We all have that same inner wisdom that we can access during those times of desolation. We tend to behave badly in the wilderness – complaining, blaming and seething with bitterness – so we remain there far too long. Our trials are meant to ask of us: “How will you receive me – with hatred and resentment, or with a holy longing for what is possible?”
As an unconscious competent during my own journey of grief, I made the decision to choose the latter; simply because it promised me far more than bitterness. By nature, I am not a bitter person, I cannot hold a grudge to save my life – though I do have my moments of woefulness. So, I had to embrace all that rose up within me. It is in the times of pain when our moment to shine is the brightest.
