24 October 2007

Choosing to Change Your Life

One of the classes I have begun teaching is called A Spirituality of Purpose. It is a mix of men and women and a very interesting mix, I must say. In listening to the introductions and why people are taking the course, I always find some common threads. When the discussions begin, I find that people want to find their purpose, they want to live a life of passion, but they just don’t want to work at making that possible. If passion and purpose could just fall into their laps, without them having to do too much, then they would be satisfied.

I find that folks want a neat little packaged answer with a carefully mapped out blueprint detailing exactly how to live and what to do. Well, I’m here to pop that little fantasy balloon and tell you that it just does not work that way. Most of the fun of living a life of purpose is in the discoveries that we continue to make. I wouldn’t like it if my life was handed to me on some platinum platter with all the answers to all the questions. Yet, this is exactly how some people live their lives. Their parents, their family members, their peers, their community, or society has imposed their life purpose on to them; and now they are following a script that was written by and for someone else.

The only person that can plan your life is you. Someone else can help finance it, but even then, there may be restrictions. Get in touch with your own authenticity – you have an authentic self, you know. When are you going to start finding out who that self is and start making her happy? Living a life of passion and purpose means living from center, your center, and honoring what is in your core. As women, we tend to take care of everyone around us, which is not a bad thing unless it is at the expense of taking care of ourselves. I always say that we cannot give away what we ourselves do not have. If our love tank is empty, how on earth do we expect to fill someone else’s?

Last week, I signed up for a women’s workshop called “Spark Your Fire.” I wanted to be at a workshop where I was being taken care of and not facilitating for a change. I went with no expectations, only wanting to connect with self and other women. Boy, did I connect with self! After the deep breathing exercises, which left me feeling as if I was melting into the floor, I felt the traumatized Carolyn and knew I needed to pamper her. Again, I am so about taking care of other women, that it is too easy to neglect my own self care. But I was so held and honored that evening; it was all about pampering me. I shared my feelings with one of the facilitators at the end, and she was so supportive and caring, hugging me and reminding me to honor my feelings.

All this to simply say, I honored myself and filled my love tank. To do the work I do with women, I must have a full tank, or I absolutely could not hold anyone sacredly or safely. I would be too toxic. And worse, I wouldn’t have the presence to shield other’s toxins. Pretty scary!

One way to live a life of passion and purpose is to choose to want to live a life of passion and purpose. If you want to and hold that intention, then it will begin to show up for you. If you do not, then you will get a whole lot of what you do not want. First begin by choosing to live a life of purpose. If you want to change your life, then you have to work at it. The Law of Attraction includes the Law of Action. Make the conscious intention, then take the necessary steps to create the space for it to start showing up for you.

Start by choosing to change your life,
Coach Carolyn

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