Of don Miguel Ruiz’ Four Agreements, Don’t Take Anything Personally is, I believe, the most difficult to follow.
As don Miguel explains, we tend to think everything is about us, when in fact, it is not. We must learn to let go of our own belief that we must react to everything that is directed at us. We have not been called to police the universe. Everything is not about me. It is a hard enough job taking care of my own business; I don’t need to delve into everyone else’s business as well. We all have our own stories, and we all operate out of our own stories and realities. Yet, my story is just that: my story. It is no one else’s. This holds true for all of us. When someone says something to us, whether positive or negative, it is from their own reality, their own story; and has nothing to do with me.
This particular agreement has been absolutely life changing for me personally. When I finally wrapped my brain around the fact that whatever was said to me or about me, had nothing to do with me, I was liberated. I have also learned to no longer “take offense” from other people. When someone offends me, I can choose not to take the offense, and let it go; because again, it is not about me.
And if you are constantly offended by other people, think about how many times you offend other people. I can hear you saying that you don’t mean to offend anybody. Well, does anyone mean to offend? If you are in a relationship with someone, platonic or intimate, who constantly offends, then it is time to rethink the relationship. Someone you are not in relationship with, and has no vested interest in, should not cause you distress. If it does, then ask yourself why? What button has it pushed and why do you have the button in the first place?
Also, think about your part in any distressing situation and ask yourself, “What is my part in this situation?
Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, and stop taking things personally ~ it is not about you!