BWP Goes Facebook

Okay passionate and purposeful divas, Becoming a Woman of Purpose has gone Facebook! Yes, I have launched a BWP Group on Facebook where women can join the conversation from all over the globe. I am quite excited about this because my mission with BWP is to equip, empower, and encourage women worldwide with the message of inner peace, passion, and purpose.

Facebook is a social networking site that not only allows you to connect with friends, but it has so many cool and funky apps. I go to my profile page and just play. I have also made some rockin connections with some cool folks. I have joined many groups, social justice causes, super poked friends, adopted a pet penguin, given and received gifts from friends, and just plain had a blast.

Facebook has become my latest drug of choice! Yes, I am totally addicted. Perhaps you can tell that from my photo on the sidebar of this blog. I so prefer it to MySpace, because being an HSP (highly sensitive person), I find MySpace a bit “loud” for my system. Facebook is a lot calmer, more peaceful. I can stay on Facebook for hours, whereas I can only take MySpace for a few minutes – the intensity of the music and colors are too overwhelming for a sensitive soul like me. I do have a MySpace page that is only a page – nothing on it, except my mug shot.

My Mogulette sister Carmina Perez, who is one of my Facebook buddies, has just gotten bitten by the bug! She has an awesome post about Facebook on her blog, Mogulettes in the Making. Check out her post called Facebook Basics if you are still a bit skittish about yet another social networking site. As Carmina says, "Facebook is networking on steroids!"

So if you are on Facebook, look me up and give me a poke; and I’ll poke you back!

See you on Facebook!
Coach Carolyn

Being Grateful on Purpose

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” ~ Albert Schweitzer

Living with passion and purpose means living with an attitude of gratitude. When you are grateful for your present light, it becomes brighter. When you are grateful for the things you do have, more will come into your life.

Take a moment to think of five things you are grateful for. Write them in your day planner on this day. Then smile for those five things. Your day will become a little sweeter for having taken the time to love.

Live in the spirit of loving gratitude,
Coach Carolyn

Being Broken on Purpose

“God breaks the heart again and again and again until it stays open.” ~ Hazrat Inayat Khan

When a tragedy strikes, our hearts are broken open, allowing us to be absolutely present to and for another person. We put our own needs and agendas aside, placing ourselves in the shoes of the one who is suffering and in pain. We stand with them, sit with them and hold their hand as they grieve.

Then, all is well and our hearts close again. Not that they become hardened, but they just close. A closed heart is a complacent heart, an apathetic heart, a heart that merely goes about the day to day without thought to anyone else’s day to day. Yes, there are extremely humanitarian people who care deeply about the injustices of society; this is not what I am speaking of. I am speaking of the ordinary; just ordinary people in ordinary situations doing ordinary things.

Then another tragedy strikes, be it a personal tragedy like a loved one dying from cancer; or a public tragedy, like terrorism. Our hearts open again, as we go about doing for the common and greater good. Yet one day, our hearts will break to the point when they can no longer close, but remain open. We no longer become indifferent to what is going on anywhere except in our own little worlds. We think about our neighbor whom we haven’t seen for a couple of days. We think about those who have no running water and make the choice to not waste water. We stop thinking that it is someone else’s concern, someone else’s fight, someone else’s struggle, and remember that we are our brother’s and sister’s keeper.

Maybe we can smile more. Perhaps we can make eye contact with someone distributing flyers on the street. Maybe we can make a way that our hearts become so soft, that they just remain open, not just waiting for tragedy to happen in order to break our hearts.

Live in loving brokenness,
Coach Carolyn

Positivity, Purpose, and Passion

Week of Positive Blogging Day 7: After blogging about positive things for a week, what affect has it had on you and your life? What blogs that took part did you find the most inspiring? What do you plan to do to inspire the world going forward?

Positivity is the backbone of what I do – it is the beauty of what I love and do. It can only have a peaceful affect on you. I pray that this week’s posts have had a peaceful and passionate affect on all those who visited and read. Thanks to all for the comments, on and off post.

I enjoyed reading all of the blogs that participated in this week’s posts. I cannot single out any one, as anything positive is a great thing, no matter where it comes from. The one thing I loved the most is connecting to new people in a profound way. I blog for that reason, to build relationships and create awesome connections. I can truly say that I have done that and hope to continue making those wonderful connections.

To inspire the world? I plan to keep on keepin’ on! I’ll just keep doing more of what I am doing until I have no more life to do it, or everyone in the world is operating in love and not fear – whichever comes first!

I want to thank my brother, Ehav Ever for this amazing opportunity to share more of my positivity with the blogosphere. His love and bright light is what this world needs. I am truly honored to be standing in his rays. I also thank my fellow positive bloggers who sojourned on this trek.

Okay, Ehav, what’s next?

Live positively on purpose!
Coach Carolyn

Words of Wisdom on Purpose

Week of Positive Blogging Day 6: Before you take your last breath in life, what words of wisdom would you want to impart to the next generation.

“Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do.”

Live a life of inner peace, passion and purpose; and whatever you do, do it in love!

Live passionately,
Coach Carolyn

Saving Lives on Purpose

Week of Positive Blogging Day 5: Discuss a time in your life when you helped someone or saved someone's life.

As a Spiritual Life Purpose/Life Transition and Leadership Coach, Spiritual Grief Counselor, Inspirational and Motivational Speaker and Writer, teacher, facilitator, blogger, singer and storyteller – that all goes without saying. I am privileged to help and save lives daily.

I am so blessed to be living a life of passion and purpose; being given the opportunity to be a guide, a coach, a counselor, and a mentor to so many women and men. I get daily emails from someone who has either attended one of my seminars, workshops, or has read my blog telling me how I made an impact on their life. I either gave them a new way to look at a present situation, I told a story that resonated with them, they were ignited by my passion or calmed by my peaceful demeanor – or charmed by my winning smile! I do get that, too!

Whatever the circumstance, I have traveled the road less traveled because it is a painful, lonely and dark road. I had to travel it in order to come through it. Now, I am in a privileged position – as Spirit Woman guide for others traveling that same dark and lonely road. I do not know every individual pain and trauma, but I do know pain and trauma, this accredits me as traveling companion and guide.

As I opened this week with the quote from Rumi, “Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do,” my beauty is my Spirit Woman emerging from my spirit center, embracing all that hurt and all that live in fear; bringing them to a place of love – living with inner peace, passion and purpose!

Live your beauty with passion,
Coach Carolyn

Spending $30 Million On Purpose

Week of Positive Blogging Day 4: If you had 3 months with which to spend $30 Million in order to change the world what would you do?

I teach at the St. Francis of Assisi Adult Education Center and every night that I leave there, the homeless men and sometimes women congregate along the sidewalk of the church to sleep. They are allowed to sleep in front of the church, and no one tells them to move. Every morning at 7 am, the church distributes sandwiches, coffee, and a word of encouragement.

Leaving there last evening, some friends and I were talking about the sad state of this wealthy nation not being able to house these people. Thirty million dollars may not be able to do everything, but it can get the ball rolling. What has happened to the SRO’s (single room occupancy) in the city? We need to work towards getting the people off the street and into dwellings with addresses – addresses then lead to work. Being able to work is part of the dignity of the human person. Even if someone is unable to work because of a disability, where would their disability check go to? The street?

Again, thirty million dollars is not enough to “fix” all the ills of society; but it is a start. And even if we start small, the effort would hit critical mass and then who knows? There is enough wealth in this country to fix the ills of society. The heartbreaking truth is that society has turned a deaf ear and a blind eye to those ills. I don’t have $30 million, not even close, but I do have time and I can pray. I exercise both in an effort to combat the social dis-eases of our time. Bringing awareness to these issues is also half the battle. What people know, they must be responsible for. That’s where the deaf ear and blind eye comes into play. What we are ignorant to, we cannot be held responsible for.

Live passionately,

Coach Carolyn

The Good News of Living on Purpose

Week of Positive Blogging Day 3: Post about some good news that has taken place in your city, community, etc. that has happened in the last 3 months?

Good news? In New York City? As if!

Okay seriously though, I must admit this post did give me a bit of trouble. Not because this is New York City and nothing good ever happens. But because I have conditioned my life to only see the good. I have fasted from mainstream news for the past ten years, so I do not pollute my brain with the barrage of media crap. I have exorcised most of the negative people out of my life, including the boyfriend. Oh well. Yes, there will always be some negativity, but I can magically make it go away with my winning smile! Okay, seriously again! At least, I try.

This is not that I turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to the social injustices that are going on. Absolutely not. It is because I can live in a positive space that I can bring awareness to social injustices, being an advocate for peace and justice in our world.

So, on to the good news. I would have to say that when I live my passion and purpose, nothing but good news can come from it. I am empowering women and men to live their passion and purpose. I am in the midst of teaching a course called A Spirituality of Purpose and I am absolutely in love with the class! The students give of their time to come and listen to me carry on for an hour. How cool is that?

The Becoming a Woman of Purpose Meetup Group is simply divine. I meet wonderful purposeful women each moth who come to share and give and receive support on their journey to a live of passion and purpose. There is wonderful discussions and I come away knowing that I have made a small difference in the lives of these women. This is what I was put on this planet to accomplish.

Our monthly Women in Transition Group is such a blessing. It is amazing to be a witness to women going from loss to abundance. The women have bonded so beautifully and when new women join they are embraced, validated and loved into newness of life. I am so honored to be a part of this process.

So in living out my divine assignment, I find a daily dose of good news in that. As long as I stay on the path of my purpose, accomplishing it with passion and peace, what better news could you hope for?

For good news, live passionately on purpose,
Coach Carolyn

Dying on Purpose To Live

Week of Positive Blogging Day 2: Post about a person who inspired you to excel in life or who actually saved your life.

When two people decide to become one and pledge their lives to one another, part of what they pledge is “…for better or for worse… till death us do part.” A young couple could never imagine that worse or death could come so soon. Their heads and hearts are filled with beautiful dreams, lovely hopes, and bright plans and pictures for the future; never thinking about health care proxies, end of life issues, or cremation arrangements.

One of the most difficult realizations is knowing that in order for one of us to live, one of us had to die. Yet this realization also revealed that both had to die in some fashion. So, he died. In his dying, my life was not only spared, but I was resurrected because I too had to die. I had to die to what was not growing, what was stagnant and not flourishing, and that what me.

It was tragedy and grief that inspired me to excel and become a woman of passion and purpose. My work to empower women would never have been realized. My light would never have begun to shine so magnificently. My heart would never have been so broken as to remain open – open to others whose hearts break through life transitions and loss.

I do miss him terribly. I am eternally grateful for the lessons, the light and the love that I have gained from being reborn. He is forever a part of all that I am and all that I do. Probably no one will ever truly understand my journey. But it doesn’t matter because you see, I can walk with you in your pain, silently. That is my gift.

Visit the initiator of the Week of Positive Blogging, Ehav Ever's blog, Hochmah and Musar; and visit the other bloggers participating in this week of spreading positive messages.

Live each moment on purpose,

Coach Carolyn

Positive Blogging - On Purpose

So, last week I blogged about bathrooms, this week I am participating in A Week of Positive Blogging, initiated by my blog brother from Israel, Ehav Ever. The blogosphere is so amazing – I have met folks all over and had some awesome connections. I have to tell you, if you are not on Facebook, get yourself over there. I have been having a blast on Facebook, and have not even scratched the surface. Yes, I have nothing better to do. NOT!

Anyway, for the first day of the Week of Positive Blogging, we are asked to blog about any person, place or thing that has created a positive memory. Well, I don’t have that much time and my fingers cannot type that long – so I will narrow that down a bit. And although I could list many, many things here, I will focus on one of my favorite quotes from the Sufi poet Rumi:

“Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do.”

When I first read that quote, I was just getting into personal development and empowerment work. I love empowering women and being a witness to their “aha moments.” This I find extremely rewarding and an honor. Because I have found my passion and purpose, I have also found so many ways to manifest that in my life and in the world. This blog is just one of the ways I make my passion come alive. I am able to connect with so many women, and men, across the blogosphere.

When I allow the beauty of what I love and what I am passionate about to become what I do, not only does it create positive energy in my life but also in the lives of all those I come in contact with.

When you can allow the beauty of what you love to be what you do, you will find that more of that beauty coming to you. You cannot help but draw to you more beauty and more passion. Operate in beauty and love, and receive more in abundance.

Live in beauty and passion,
Coach Carolyn

Creating Your Own Reality

This past week, I had an executive board meeting for the Pink Collar Club. As part of the opening, our wonderful servant leader, Randee Krumwiede, asked each of us to name one pet peeve we were dealing with. Now, if you have been reading my blogs, you know that I don’t have just one, though they all amount to the same thing – fear.

So, I shared that what gets me is when folks are wanting to make changes in their lives, they say that they want change in their lives, yet, are unwilling to take the action to make the change happen. Randee quipped, “Spoken like a true coach!” Well, it’s true! People want the results, yet are not willing to do what it takes to get those results.

I have been really meditating over this because I want to get to the root cause of this. I want to unlock the block with folks. I know the block is fear. This morning I opened my email and received my ipopin, my daily, one minute affirmation from my blog sister, Kirsten Harrell. Today’s affirmation is “I create my own reality.” I must find out if Kirsten is bugging my brain because her daily affirmations are just what I am working on, either in my own life or with clients.

This all reminds me of the Tea Cup Story. If I want my life to be filled with passion and purpose and surrounded by peace, then I must do what I can to make that a reality. I have the power of choice – I must first choose to want to change. This story tells is all.

There was a couple who used to go to England to shop in the beautiful stores. They both liked antiques and pottery and especially teacups. This was their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.

One day in this beautiful shop they saw a beautiful teacup. They said, "May we see that? We've never seen one quite so beautiful."

As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke. "You don't understand," it said. "I haven't always been a teacup.

There was a time when I was brown and I was clay. My master took me and rolled me and patted me over and over and I yelled out, 'let me alone', but he only smiled, 'Not yet.'

"Then I was placed on a spinning wheel," the teacup said, "and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. Stop it! I'm getting dizzy! I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, 'Not yet.'

Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I wondered why he wanted to burn me, and I yelled and knocked at the door. I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head, 'Not yet.'

Finally the door opened, he put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. 'There, that's better,' I said. And he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Stop it, stop it!' I cried. He only nodded, 'Not yet.'

Then suddenly he put me back into the oven, not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. All the time I could see him through the opening nodding his head saying, 'Not yet.'

Then I knew there wasn't any hope. I would never make it. I was ready to give up. But the door opened and he took me out and placed me on the shelf. One hour later he handed me a mirror and said, 'Look at yourself. And I did.

I said, 'That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful.'

'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurts to be rolled and patted, but if I had left you alone, you'd have dried up.

I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I knew it hurt and was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked.

I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened; you would not have had any color in your life.

And if I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't survive for very long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with you.

As Kirsten says, “I create my own reality.” Your first step? Being willing to create your own reality. So I invite you to stop... sit and have a cup of tea... and think about the changes the teacup went through to be the beautiful teacup you hold right now... then make the choice to create your own reality.

Create your reality passionately!
Coach Carolyn

Being Passionate and On Purpose

Just a brief roundup as to what’s been going on in the life of the Becoming a Woman of Purpose consortium – meetup group, blog, newsletter, and other stirrings.

At our October Meetup, we gathered and discussed living your dreams. We were in the wonderful Elizabeth Seton Women’s Center and enjoyed a lively discussion about following your passions and living your dreams. I learned that several of us will be on Oprah together!

One tip on living your dreams is to write down your dreams. Get them out of your head and into your life. Dream big and let the Divine take care of the “how.” You just focus on what you want your dream to look like and don’t worry about how it will show up. If you take your right actions, the Universe will do its part.

I was honored to give a seminar to the Sistahs in Unity Meetup Group on Fears, Negativity and Limiting Beliefs. The sistahs were wonderful, the conversation was stimulating, and the aura was on purpose. Although it was pouring rain that evening, the ladies gathered. When sistahs want to live a life on purpose, a little rain won’t stop them! Thank you ladies for gathering with me.

Pictured: me with Alexis Etheridge, the CEO of Sistahs in Unity (in white blouse) and the sistahs!

Our Becoming a Woman of Purpose Blog was listed among other women blogs on the Virtual Woman’s Day Blog List of inspiring women blogs. Rockin’! A passionate thank you to Heidi Richards for the love link.

Also, the W Magical List is still alive and growing. I get emails daily from women wanting to add their blogs to the wiki. If you are a woman blogger and have not joined the wiki, then join the wiki!

Becoming a Woman of Purpose was also featured as the Facebook W List Weekly Meet n Greet Blog. If you are on Facebook, look me up and hook up!

If anyone wants to subscribe to this blog’s feeds, fill in the box on the sidebar. If anyone wants to subscribe to the BWP ezine, then shoot me an email. I am stopping the print edition and only doing a online version. Saves paper and trees.

Other stirrings: I am putting the finishing touches on my ebooks, and am praying about Internet talk radio. The Spirit is moving and sending whatever is necessary my way. Just too much to ignore. Will keep you posted on that.

But do connect with me, shoot me an email, Facebook me, link up on LinkedIn – I am easy to get to, except by phone! Lord, do I loathe the phone! Let me know what’s working for you and what you need.

Living passionately and on purpose is a collective journey and I am here to be your Spirit Woman guide. Thanks for visiting.

Live passionately,
Coach Carolyn

Meeting in the Ladies Room - Part Trois

Okay, as we wind down our Bathroom Blogfest, I have to share one of my bathroom pet peeves – stall size!

Of all the rooms in the home, the bathroom is the one room that must go on the road! There are no public kitchens, unless someone somewhere suddenly got the urge to cook up a meal. So, the bathroom is a public concept. Department stores, malls, arenas, airports, bus stations, railway stations, zhanga halls, everywhere the people gather, there are public restrooms. Well, at least there should be.

Having said that, I personally have been in many a public restroom. Remember, I have the kidney bean-sized kidney, and I do drink lots of water (no laugh tracks, please). When there is no line, which is rare, I tend to go into the stall that is wheelchair-accessible. Simply because it is big! There is room to turn around and pull things down and up and around.

I am a big girl, tall that is. And when I was a tall and very wide girl, those tiny stalls just weren’t working for me. I could barely turn around to shut the door, let alone pull things down and up. This kind of strategic maneuvering just isn’t working for me, especially not in the toilet. I don’t go to the toilet to practice strategic maneuvers.

I do understand that there are lots of women, and the need for many stalls in the ladies room is great. But we are ladies, not girls. I remember being at a conference given in a high school. Well, going to the “girls’ room” did take me back, but the stalls were for girls, of which I totally outgrew.

Also, being tall, I like high toilets, and the toilets in the wheelchair stalls are higher. I am a squatter, have been all my life. This is how my mother taught me. Never sit, she would scream. So, I squat. I need to squat high as I am not a low squatter. And although my kidney is pea-sized, the lake that is extracted can amount to a good minute and a half of squatting time. Low squatting for more than thirty seconds can wear on the legs. Those bars on the sides of the stall also helps with the squatting action. Yes, there is a method to my bathroom madness!

When I had the cane (for chronic sciatic pain), waiting for the wheelchair stall was more acceptable. Now, my only excuse is size; and I don’t give a crap who sees. Why aren’t there stalls for big and tall girls? Men only have to aim and shoot. We women have to maneuver! I mean, can I add “personal hygienic strategic maneuvering” to my resume?

I’ve got a meeting in the ladies room…
I’ll be back real soon…
After I have done my personal hygienic strategic maneuvers!

Check out the Bathroom Blogfest and visit my fellow bathroom maneuverettes!

Kate Rutter—Adaptive Path
Laurence Helene Borel—Blog Till You Drop
Iris Shreve Garrott—checking out and checking in
Susan Abbott—Customer Experience Crossroads
Maria Palma—Customers Are Always
Becky Carroll—Customers Rock!
Toby Bloomberg—Diva Marketing
Stephanie Weaver—Experienceology
Linda Tischler—Fast Company Now
C.B. Whittemore—Flooring the Consumer
Ed Pell—K+B DeltaVee
Helene Blowers—Library Bytes
Claudia Schiepers—Life and its little pleasures
Katie Clark—Practical Katie
Sandra Renshaw—Purple Wren
Reshma Anand—Qualitative Research
Marianna Hayes—Results Revolution
Sara Cantor—The Curious Shopper
Anna Farmery—The Engaging Brand
Dee McCrorey—The Ultimate Corporate Entrepreneur
Katia S. Adams—Transcultural
Katie Konrath—Get Fresh Minds
Jennifer Brite—Kitchen and Bath Business

Squat high, live passionately!
Coach Carolyn