Friday's Purposeful Question

"A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place, but a seed to be planted and to bear more seeds toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea." ~ Henry David Thoreau

One of the social sites I love to play at is Gaia. The Gaia Community is a space to share and focus energy on what inspires rather than on what is feared, manifesting a world of kindness and heart-centeredness. In the Gaia community, I am known as the Mystic Empath ~ come by and say hey!

Anywho, one of my daily spiritual practices is logging onto Gaia each morning and answering the daily question and reflection. Fellow Gaian Siona, Director of the Gaian Community creates these thoughtful questions each day...

"Think of Gaia's Questions and Reflections as an invitation and guide into your highest self. Every day, we offer an inquiry designed to push you to think deeply about those things that matter most. We'll encourage you to continue to discover and follow your calling, to explore and connect with yourself, to envision and attain your goals, and to craft, passionately, your own extraordinary and unique life."

I will ask yesterday's question here as our Purposeful Question of the Week. I pose this question because my response brought a comment from Lady Siona herself...

This answer made me melt. Thank you. :)

"What was the last compassionate act you witnessed?"

Live your questions!

Coach Carolyn

Who’s Writing Your Story?

“Before I was born in this physical body, a whole society of storytellers was already here. The story was ongoing, and from their story I learned how to create my own. The storytellers whoa re here before us teach us how to be human.

First they tell us what we are – a boy or a girl – then they tell us who we are, and who we should or shouldn’t be. They teach us how to be a proper woman, a decent woman, a strong man, a brave man.

They give us a name, an identity, and they tell us the role that we are playing in their story. They prepare us to live in a human jungle, to compete with one another, to control one another, to impose our will, to fight against our own kind.

Of course I believed what the storytellers told me. Why would I not believe them? They filled me with knowledge, and I used that knowledge to copy their style and create my art in a similar way.”

From The Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Ruiz

*****
We are all storytellers. The trick is to discern which story to live out.

Do we live out of our own stories – they lies, the judgments, and the beliefs we have accumulated throughout the years?

Do we live out of the stories of our families, tribes, cultures and clans – with its own set of beliefs that we have bought in to?

Or, do we choose to create a new story for ourselves – story that begins with the premise that we are unique, unrepeatable, wonderfully-made divine beings?

Comedian Joe E. Louis once said we only live one life, but if we work it right, one is enough.

The poet Mary Oliver called it our one, wild, precious life.

How will you choose to create your one, wild, precious, unrepeatable and unique life?

It's your choice... so choose wisely!

Coach Carolyn

Create Inner Peace ~ Just Say NO!

One of the ways on manifesting more inner and outer peace in our lives is learning to say NO to unreasonable demands. In The Success Principles by Jack Canfield, Principle #42 is Just Say No! He writes:

“Why do we find it so hard to say no to everybody’s requests? As children, many of us learned that no was an unacceptable answer. Responding with no was cause for discipline. Later, in our careers, no may have been the reason for a poor evaluation or failing to move up the corporate latter.

“Yet highly successful people say no all the time – to projects, to crazy deadlines, to questionable priorities, and to other people’s crises. In fact, they view the decision to say no as equally acceptable as the decision to say yes.”

Learning to say NO means freeing yourself up to be, well, yourself! If you have a difficult time saying NO, begin by requesting some time to give your answer. Say something like:

“I want to honor your request by taking some time to pray about it.” Or,
“That’s an important request and I want to answer you as honestly as I can. Let me think about it and I will get back to you in 24 hours.”

And remember, NO is a complete sentence, There is no need for justifying your decision. Your decision is your decision and the person needs to honor you and your decision.

So, just for today, just say NO!

Coach Carolyn

Do It Afraid!

In The Success Principles by Jack Canfield, Principle #15 is Experience Your Fear and Take Action Anyway. He writes,

“Some people will do anything to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of fear. If you are one of those people, you run an even bigger risk of never getting what you want in life. Most of the good stuff requires taking a risk. And the nature of a risk is that it doesn’t always work out….” (pg 115)

We have heard the acronym for fear as False Evidence Appearing Real. Well Jack calls them Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real. Either way, we tend to fear what we have yet to experience. Instead of using our brilliant imaginations to fantasize about what might happen, why not use them to fantasize about what we desire. This will create a higher and more peaceful vibration within your mind, body and spirit.

So, just for today, go on...take the leap and do it afraid. Only then will the net appear.

Join Jack's Success Principles 21-Day e-Mentorship Course. You'll be glad you did!

Do it afraid!

Coach Carolyn

Take Responsibility on Purpose

"God gives everyone certain attributes, characteristics, talents, and then He says, "If you use what you have I'll increase it, but if you don't use it, you'll lose it." Use it or lose it; it's a law." ~ Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

"One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes ... and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

In The Success Principles by Jack Canfield, Principle #1 is: Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life. This principle simply states that no matter what has happened to us in our past, we must suspend blaming someone or something else on what didn’t go right. We are the creators of our own lives and must take full responsibility for the creation process. What went on before is past. We cannot change our past. We can only look back and learn from it. The pieces that went wonderfully, we honor and celebrate; while the pieces that seemed crappy, we reconcile and release.

So, just for today, think about where you are right now. Not last week, last month, or last year – but right this very moment. What is the next inspired action you can take to create a brilliant life? Make it so.

"I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike." ~ Emile Henry Gauvreau

**Why not sign up for Jack's Success Principles 21-Day Free e-Mentoring Course. I took it and discovered so many things about myself and my path to success. I highly recomment it. And since it is an e-course, you can take it at your own pace.

To your success!

Coach Carolyn

Friday’s Purposeful Question

“…Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now."
~ From Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

"What choice would you like to make?"

The most powerful way to control your focus is through the use of questions.” ~ Anthony Robbins

Choose wisely,
Coach Carolyn

Seeing With Eyes of Love

One of my Sacred Songs is Beautiful by Christina Aguilera. The words speak so lovingly to self-worth, self-acceptance and self-esteem. It deals with hurtful statements made against her that cause her to feel insecure and have low self-esteem. She does not let other people's negativity get her down.

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today.

In his lovely book, The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz also speaks of seeing with the eyes of love. He writes:

What is important are not all these opinions from others, but your own opinions. You are beautiful no matter what your mind tells you. That is a fact. You don’t have to do anything because you already have all the beauty you need. To be beautiful you don’t have any obligations to anyone. Others are free to see whatever they want to see. If others see you and judge you beautiful or not, if you are aware of your own beauty and accept your own beauty, their opinion doesn’t affect you at all.

*****
You are beautiful everyday!
Coach Carolyn

Mindfulness to Inner Peace

One of the ways to manifest inner peace in our lives is by living more mindfully.

What is mindfulness? According to Wikipedia, mindfulness is a mental state characterized by calm awareness of one's body functions, feelings, content of consciousness, or consciousness itself.

One way to practice living mindful is when eating. I am amazed at how many folks just inhale their meals without any thought. And, between each inhalation, they are chatting away! I joke that I "nurse" my food. I want to truly experience everything that I eat. Our tendency is towards multitasking.

My favorite definitions for multitasking:

~ screwing everything up simultaneously.

~a polite way of telling someone you haven’t heard a word they said.

~a nice way to say that you’re doing many different things at the same time. And since no one can divide by zero, that means you’re doing many different things half-assed.

So, just for today, practice mindfulness ~ when you are eating, doing the dishes, putting on makeup, and so on. Don't know where to begin? Start with this little Swedish proverb...

"Fear less, hope more;
Eat less, chew more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Love more, and all good things will be yours"

Live mindfully...on purpose!

Coach Carolyn

Overcoming Fear

I want to share this wonderful article on overcoming fear by Zig Ziglar. Enjoy!

*****

Fear has been correctly identified with the acrostic False Evidence Appearing Real. The truth is that if we think something is to be feared, that perception becomes the cruelest form of reality.

A second-grade boy was overheard saying, “It’s easy to be brave when you’re not scared.” By the same token, it’s easy to talk about how to overcome fear when you have little to be afraid of. Fear is certainly real for most people and all of us face a fear of something - poverty, divorce, rejection, death, failure, speaking in public, being laughed at, etc.

How do we overcome fear? First we must learn to examine our fears. Example: Giving a speech, which is the number one fear in our country, according to Reader’s Digest. (It’s also a tremendous confidence-builder.) If that’s your fear, ask yourself a few questions. “Why am I afraid to make a speech? Is it because I’m afraid of being rejected? Then why do I think I’ll be rejected? Do I believe what I’m about to say? Is my speech worth giving? Am I proud of the comments I’m about to make?” As you ask yourself these questions, the fear will begin to subside. It subsides because you have explored your subconscious mind with your questions and flushed out some of your fears.

My research indicates that only three people have died while making a speech. Since twelve billion people have lived and only three of them died making a speech, I’d say it’s a fairly safe thing to do. If you’re a little nervous, consider this: You could lead a mule into a crowded room and he would be so calm that he would almost go to sleep standing up. A thoroughbred in the same situation would be as nervous as a cat. If you’re a little nervous, just be grateful you’re a thoroughbred - not a mule. So face those inner feelings, stand up and speak up with confidence. When you do, I’ll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Zig Ziglar is a motivator and teacher. He is the author of 27 books and loved by millions of people world wide for his practical wisdom and his gift of hope.

*****
Here's to living fearless!
Coach Carolyn

Beauty Tips from Audrey Hepburn

Here is a beautiful poem Audrey Hepburn offered when asked to share her beauty tips. Speaks to Miss Audrey's knowing who she fully was.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed,
revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands;
one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

Share this with one women you know and she will know that you care about her.

Touch a heart today,

Coach Carolyn

What Do You REALLY Want?

“…Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now."
~ From Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

"What do you really want?"

There are usually four different answers to this question.

1. "I don't want _______."

2. "I don't know."

3. "I want _____, but I can't because _____."

4. I want _____." The only YES answer.

What is your heart's desire? Get clear on what it is you really want. You cannot manifest what you want if you do not know what you want.

Start manifesting,

Coach Carolyn

Personal Importance

From The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz:

"During the period of our domestication, we learn to think we are responsible for everything: 'Me, me, always me!'

"Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about 'me.'"

Relieve yourself of the burden of taking on the responsibility of policing the universe.

Coach Carolyn

Be Peace to Manifest Peace

"Our internal states have a significant influence on the external world. If we create peace in our own bodies and minds, the world becomes more peaceful." ~ Shari Friedrichsen

I believe it was the Trappist Thomas Merton who said if you want peace in the world, you must become peace, then there is at least some peace in the world. We fail to remember that fear, anger, resentment, blame, and the like shut out peace. Peace, like light, cannot co-exist with the darkness.

Just for today, when the storms of anger and chaos are swirling all around you, just remain calm and be at peace; and watch what happens.

"Set peace of mind as your highest goal, and organize your life around it." ~ Brian Tracy

Be the peace you want to see in your world,

Coach Carolyn

Transcending Fear

“I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” ~ Rosa Parks

When you STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK yourself the BE/DO/HAVE questions, and really sit with the questions until the answers appear, fear will cease to have a grip on you.

Who are you?
What do you want?
What are you here to do?

Journal these questions every week until you are ready to receive the answers. Then watch fear dissipate from your day-to-day living.

Hum... It's a Small World.... Feel it?

Coach Carolyn

Marrying Action with Consistency

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." ~ Aristotle

One of my mantras for this year has been, BE CONSISTENT. I write it every day in my daily planner, in my journal, and in my weekly SWOT Analysis. And know what? It is working! I am being consistent.

I have always been of the ilk that will try something for about a week, then decide that it just isn’t working for me, or something will distract me from continuing. Of course, there have been things that I have been consistent with, such as showering and brushing my teeth. Yet, I tend to overlook those things and chalk them up to necessities of life. My spiritual and emotional well being are also necessities of life. They are something more ~ they contribute to my quality of life. I may not offend anyone if I decide not to meditate, yet, in the end it does affect my quality of life, which offends me.

One key to being consistent: be consistent with one new task at a time, and do it for 30 days straight. Then add on one new task for 30 days. If you happen to miss one day, please do not beat yourself up. Simply begin again. Yes, as if from Day One. Trust me, it doesn’t work the other way. I have tried all of the shortcuts. They do not work!

Personally, I am astonished at my level of consistency with certain tasks ~ this blog, for example. I would post and feel good about posting. Then, I wouldn’t feeeeeeel like it. So, I wouldn’t post. What did it get me? A stagnant blog!

Develop a plan to be consistent.
*Decide what you want to do.
*Create a plan to do it.
*Write down the steps in your planner, or somewhere you tend to look... consistently. If you write it down, you have more incentive to complete it than if you simply try to remember to do it. Trust me on this as well. Remember, I was the master of delay, distraction, forgetting, and excuses. Now, I am Sister Consistency!

Have I arrived? Only if I am consistent…

"We are all living; we are all dying. In between, we have the gift of deciding how." ~ Suzy Welch

Be consistent!
Coach Carolyn

International Happiness Day!

Today, July 10th is International Happiness Day!

We understand that “Intention Creates Outcome”. So, what if one million people from all over the planet celebrated happiness on the same day? What would be the impact in the world of such a strongly shared intention? We’re convinced that this will have a powerful, positive impact on the world.

Sign the UN Petition for support of International Happiness Day.

The goal is to obtain 50 million signatures before the year 2011 in order to achieve the United Nations declaration of July 10th as the worldwide International Happiness Day!

Be happy happy! And don't forget to SMILE!

Coach Carolyn

Using Your Word Against Yourself

To be impeccable with your word means all the words you speak, not merely the ones directed at others. Some of the harshest words we direct at ourselves. How often do we say things like, “Oh, I am so stupid,” or “I look so fat in this,” or “I’m not good enough to….”

Remember, the vibration we send out into the universe, is the same energy that will return to us. So before you use the word against yourself, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK…

"Am I doing the very best that I can right now?"

If so, okay. If not, change what you can and move on.

Stop beating yourself up. The worse abuse is verbal abuse. It leaves scars far more deep than we can imagine. Don’t think this is abuse? Just let someone else say these things to you on a consistent basis and tell me it’s not abusive. We are our own worse enemy, critic, and abuser.

Just for today, think of yourself as a little child. Would you speak to that child in that manner? Well remember, that child is YOU!

Words can harm and words can heal... choose wisely!

Coach Carolyn

Manifesting Inner Peace

"For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety." ~ Aesop

So think about it. Is it really worth losing your peace of mind for something that will not even matter one year from now? This is the only moment you really have. Spend it wisely.

Coach Carolyn

Fear Lives in the Future

"We can't fear the past. Fear is a future thing. And since the future’s all in our heads, fear must be a head thing." ~ Tom Payne

It helps to understand that fear is usually a projection into the future. We typically fear what might happen rather than what is happening now.

Author Susan Jeffers notes that 90% of what we fear usually does not materialize. So replace your images of disaster on the TV screen in your mind with awareness of what is really happening. And don’t allow your thinking to change channels.

"I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me." ~ Erica Jong

Brought to you by Higher Awareness.

Fear lives in the future; remain in the present moment ~ it's the only moment you really have!

Coach Carolyn

Dream BIG ... on Purpose!

My coach sent out this blog post of a Thai Pantene commercial. Now, I am a huge YouTube watcher ~ everything from costume dramas to comedies to music videos to skits. This one had me in tears. I am also passionate about having a dream and believing in that dream until you soar with that dream. Then it is no longer a dream, but your reality.



Dream BIG, on purpose!
Coach Carolyn

Celebrate! Happy 4th!

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

Stay safe and blessed,

Coach Carolyn

Friday's Purposeful Question

“…Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now." ~ From Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

“Where are you on your journey?”

"The most powerful way to control your focus is through the use of questions.” ~ Anthony Robbins

Live your questions!

Coach Carolyn

Using Inverse Gossip

Don Miguel Ruiz' first agreement from The Four Agreements is “Be Impeccable With Your Word.”

Wikipedia defines gossip as “idle talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. It forms one of the oldest and most common means of sharing (unproven) facts and views, but also has a reputation for the introduction of errors and other variations into the information transmitted.”

When we use our words in a negative way, to harm, to slander, to gossip about, we are not only causing damage to the one we aim those words at, but also to ourselves. Words are powerful tools, they are also powerful weapons. What’s the difference? Both are of dynamic power, yet the former creates healing energy, while the latter creates destruction.

The Talmud tells a story of a woman who came to her Rabbi and confessed that she had spoken behind someone's back and told a falsehood about them. She wanted to know what could be done about it. The wise elderly Rabbi told her to go home, take a feather pillow, go outside with it, cut a hole in it and let all the feathers out. Then refill the pillow. He told her to come back to see him after that. When she returned, he asked her what happened. She stated "Oh, Rabbi! It was awful! I couldn't catch all the feathers and put them back in the pillow. Many feathers blew away!" The wise Rabbi said "Yes and that is how it is when we speak a falsehood about another person. Just as you could not retrieve all the feathers, we can never take back all the words."

We have all given into gossip. Be it celebrity gossip, workplace gossip, or family gossip. We must know who is doing what and who, whether it is true or not. Then we spread that story, that gossip. And it goes out like those feathers – irretrievable.

Just for today, when you get the inclination to gossip, use inverse gossip. What is inverse gossip? Well, think of one kind and sincere word about the person instead. Instead of speaking of their talkative nature, try mentioning their ability to speak on many different topics. And if it is indeed a stretch, silence goes a long way.

"I have often regretted my speech, never my silence." ~ Xenocrates

Be impeccable with your word,
Coach Carolyn

You Matter...

You matter...

*When you love the work you do and the people you do it with, you matter.

*When you are so gracious and generous and aware that you think of other people before yourself, you matter.

*When you leave the world a better place than you found it, you matter.

*When you continue to raise the bar on what you do and how you do it, you matter.

*When you teach and forgive and teach more before you rush to judge and demean, you matter.

*When you touch the people in your life through your actions (and your words), you matter.

*When kids grow up wanting to be you, you matter.

*When you see the world as it is, but insist on making it more like it could be, you matter.

*When you inspire a Nobel prize winner or a slum dweller, you matter.

*When the room brightens when you walk in, you matter.

*And when the legacy you leave behind lasts for hours, days or a lifetime, you matter!!!!

~ Seth Godin

Remember, you matter!

Coach Carolyn