Ignorance Is Still Bliss

"To be conscious that you are ignorant of the facts is a great step to knowledge." ~ Benjamin Disraeli

…And not just a step to knowledge, but also to inner peace. I don’t have to know all the answers…and this has made all the difference.

It's time to let go...

Coach Carolyn

Perfectionism or Success?

I was always one of those perfectionists. And because I could never be as perfect as I thought I needed to be, I would freeze in my own fear and never complete anything. It wasn’t until my lovely coach Kristin said to me: COMPLETION matters more than perfection.

This was so liberating to me. I now write it in my daily planner every single day. It has become one of my mantras. This meant that I didn’t have to aim for perfection, that I just needed to aim and wherever it hit, it was better than not aiming at all.

One of our lovely BWP members, Renee, wisely shared this quote with the group:

“You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” ~ Wayne Gretzky

If one of your stories is that you must get it right 100 percent, then it is time to release that story because that’s all it is. It’s just a story and chances are it isn’t even your story. So wherever you picked it up, say “No thank you,” go give it back and try a new story: COMPLETION matters more than perfection.

“Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make yourself a happier and more productive person." ~ Dr. David M. Burns

Sign up for Kristin's Morning Mantras ~ daily quotes delivered to your inbox ~ to give you a dose of oomph to get your day started on a positive note. I have been getting the Morning Mantras for at least three years now and I cannot begin my day without them!

Here's to a successful day!

Coach Carolyn

Will the Real YOU Please Stand Up?

"Ultimately, the real you is beyond words. Call it intuition. Call it universal consciousness. Call it life. Call it awareness. Call it God or Being or your Buddha nature. Whatever you call it, this infinitely wise presence waits patiently and peacefully in the recesses of your heart, trying to get through to you. It has always been there, always will be there, shining like a beacon beneath all the social masks, all the musts and shoulds, all the have-to's and not-good-enoughs that have kept you from knowing it.

"The real you is the part of you that speaks in your dreams, wakes you up in the middle of the night with a new idea, nudges you gently in a new direction, and sometimes screams at you when you're about to do something stupid. It is a fountain of truth, the source of anything you could ever want to know. All the wisdom of past, present, and future is contained in the real you. But ah--how to get in touch with it? Now, that is the question!" ~ Brandt Morgan

Will the REAL YOU please stand up?

Coach Carolyn

Delegate...On Purpose

Most women of purpose are living their passions and doing exactly what they were created to do. This is awesome. The not so awesome part is that they can get blocked and bogged down by some of the mundane tasks. This unfortunately can keep you stuck. One of the biggest procrastination blockers islack of delegation. Small business owners, especially start-ups, must learn to delegate those tasks that must get done but are not so attractive to do. Or, they are just not within your skill set or passion set.

We tend to think that just because it’s my business, I have to do everything! Well, this is just not the case. This is the case where we have to shift from merely passionate to entrepreneur and business owner. One of those places is when we have to do printing. I had a client, who was about to launch her ministry, and asked me to come to the “launch luncheon” to speak. She had lovely packets of information; but she was exhausted having stayed up the night before putting everything together herself. Then she realized, “I should have called you to help me!” Well, duh!

This is one area I delegate. Printing services are so readily available, but I’m not one to schlep to a print shop only to dole out a whole lot of cash. Online printing is the way to go! I call it Web Printing 2.0! Online printing is a lot less expensive without the schlep! PsPrint is one such company that prints everything from business cards to postcards. You can get your printing done in record time – online – and without the hassle. And if you are a start-up, you don’t need anymore hassles.

Remember, delegate whenever possible. It helps alleviate the pain of procrastination. And we artistes just want to create!

Don’t procrastinate, delegate!
Coach Carolyn

Friday's Purposeful Question

“Your life is right now! It's not later! It's not in that time of retirement. It's not when the lover gets here. It's not when you've moved into the new house. It's not when you get the better job. Your life is right now. It will always be right now. You might as well decide to start enjoying your life right now, because it's not ever going to get better than right now – until it gets better right now!” ~ Abraham-Hicks

Stop…take a breath…ask:

“Are you more scared to stay stuck or to do the work to get unstuck?”

Live right now!

Coach Carolyn

Becoming Aware...

“Once we have awareness, we have a choice. If we could have that awareness all the time, we could change our routines, change our reactions, and change our entire life. Once we have the awareness, we recover free will. When we recover free will, in any moment, we can choose to remember who we are.

“Becoming aware is about being responsible for your life. You are not responsible for what is happening in the world. You are responsible for yourself.

“The real mission you have in life is to make yourself happy, and in order to be happy, you have to look at what you believe, the way you judge yourself, the way you victimize yourself.”

From The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz

It's all about awareness...
Coach Carolyn

Thinking Into Peace

Marcus Aurelius from Meditations once said, “Your mind will be like its habitual thoughts; for the soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.”

Thoughts become things. So if you are not loving what you see happening in your life, you need to change your thinking. The best way to do this is: get around "nutritious people" and learn to ask empowering questions. The questions we ask ourselves (or are willing to ask ourselves) are the key to transformation.

Remember the BE, DO HAVE Questions:

Who am I?

What am I here to do?

What do I desire?

If you want to give yourself a true gift, then ask these questions and wait for the answers.

Live the questions,

Coach Carolyn

The Fear of Procrastination

When we look at the unrealistic fears in our lives, one of the major indicators is procrastination. Wikipedia defines procrastination as “a behavior which is characterized by the deferment of actions or tasks to a later time.”

At a workshop I attended sometime back, the majority of the participants cited procrastination as the main cause of not beginning a task, a dream or a desire. They knew exactly what to do, but the problem came in the actual doing. I must admit to having this particular syndrome many times in my life. It became so detrimental to my life that I had to discover what was going on. Then came the awareness. I looked at the things I did quite easily without delay. What was the difference?

It wasn’t passion. I am passionate about writing, yet for a long time I would put off writing these blog posts.

I looked at the reasons why I had to do the thing that I procrastinated on. Was it something that I had to or should do, or something that I wanted to do? I did not have to write these blog posts; but I definitely wanted to. It took a shift in mindset, then the means to blog daily came so easily and effortlessly.

If procrastination is plaguing you, look at the reasons why you are doing the thing you keep putting off. Is it because you want to or because you think you should do it? Remember, stop “shoulding” over yourself. And if it is a task that you must do to move to another level, then reframe why you are doing it. Say to yourself, “I get to do _____, which will move me closer to ______!”

It’s all about awareness and making conscious choices. This is your life and you only get one; but if you work it right, one is all you need!

“Procrastination is not the cause of our problems with accomplishing tasks; it is an attempt to resolve a variety of underlying issues, includ¬ing low self-esteem, perfec¬tionism, fear of failure and of success, indecisiveness, an imbalance between work and play, ineffective goal-setting, and negative concepts about work and yourself.” ~ Dr. Neil Fiore, The NOW Habit

Coach Carolyn

Choose to Be Happy

"Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored." ~ Earl Nightingale

In her book, Happy For No Reason, Marci Shimoff asks, “What would our lives be like if we could all be happy no matter what?”

And Aristotle said, “Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”

The choice is yours: you can choose to be happy or unhappy. In the end, it takes the same amount of work. But the results in your life will be very different.

"We have a right to choose our attitude." ~ Viktor Frankl

Choose to be happy... just because!

Coach Carolyn

Friday's Purposeful Question

“Your soul will always call the answer to you when you are ready for it.”

How do you say NO?

“You can tell a woman is clever by her answers. You can tell she is wise by her questions.”

Live the questions,

Coach Carolyn

Honor Your Agreements

"What you resist, persists..."

Make an agreement to "Don't Make Assumptions," and honor your agreement. When you are assuming, you are living in judgment. Instead of assuming and judging, simply ask a question. We make assumptions because we don't know the answer. What do we do if we don't know something? WE ASK!

Where did we lose that? Asking questions is one of the biggest keys to success. Again, we assume that someone will think we are stupid or not in the know. Well, who in the hell cares if you are not in the know? Someone who won't care anyway, and who may not know themselves? Stop worrying about what other people think of you. Because truthfully, what other people think of you is none of your business.

Suffering and struggling comes from resisting and not accepting what is. We cannot change what has happened, but we can change how we react and show up to what has happened. To help us make better choices, we must ask better questions.

Stop struggling. Stop resisting what is. Stop making assumptions. JUST STOP! Remember, stopping is a spiritual action.

Coach Carolyn

Is Peace Your Vibrational Essence?

“Seek peace. When you have peace within, real peace with others will be possible." ~Thich Nhat Hanh

"My Every Thought Is Attracting Its Vibrational Essence... Whether you are thinking about wanted things or unwanted things, you are still sending out a “request” to attract more things like the subject of your thought. And all things that happen to you - all people, things, experiences, situations that come to you - come in response to your Vibrational invitation.

Noticing how things are turning out for you is one very clear way of understanding which Vibrational requests you are emanating, because you always get the essence of what you are thinking about, whether you want it or not." ~ Abraham-Hicks

“Better than a thousand useless words is one word that gives peace.” ~ Buddha

Think about what you think about,

Coach Carolyn

Michelle Obama Rocks the Toy Watch!

One of my affirmations is “Time is an illusion; time is mine.” Don’t you love it? And those of you who know me, know I don’t wear a watch. That’s just because the last one broke and I was too lazy to go and get another one. Besides, I only wear men’s watches because of the bigger face and numbers. Yes, sister plays trombone with the fine print! However, I have seen women rockin’ these big plastic watches and wondered, “Humm, nice. Bold!”

Now I am not much of a fashion follower or a trendsetter – except I follow my own trends, thank you very much! But the latest thing is the Toy watch – those big plastic, colorful jobs that even our Miss Oprah named as one of her favorite things. Even our very stylish First Lady, Michelle Obama, rocks her Toy watch! Go figure! She made an appearance on the Tonight Show wearing J. Crew, which sparked a shopping frenzy at their stores and has been seen out in public sporting a toywatch. She admits that she shops online and seems to have a fashion following with whatever she wears. Don’t you love a Divine Diva?

I love butterflies, so of course there is one with a butterfly! Hummmm. Italian designer Marco Mavilla is the reason behind this new Hollywood obsession. The oversized, large watch faces and the lightweight of the plastic are what make Toy watch the new “must have!” The Toy watch will most likely be a big fashion hit this season into Christmas.

We care so much about time in our society yet we don’t rock it well. I mean, come on ladies! It’s time to sing, “Time is Mine!”

Rock it, ladies!

Coach Carolyn

Being Positive During Times of Pain

National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week, September 14 – 20, 2009, is a worldwide effort to bring together people who live with invisible chronic illness and those who love them. Nearly 1 in 2 people in the USA live with a chronic illness and about 96% of these illnesses are invisible.

It is a challenge to stay positive, peaceful and out of the fear when living with a chronic illness. Constant pain can keep you in a very negative and lonely space. Several of the ways I deal with my illness is with meditation, prayer and support. One of my support systems is Rest Ministries and the HopeKeepers Sunroom Community.

Founded by Lisa Copen in 1996, Rest Ministries is a Christian organization that exists to serve people who live with chronic illness or pain, and their families, by providing spiritual, emotional, relational, and practical support through a variety of programs and resources.

A few tips to stay positive:

Set clear boundaries with those around you. Let your NO mean NO and your YES mean YES. Remember, you teach people how to treat you. People will learn to take you seriously when you get serious.

Take a time out when needed. Ladies, I always say the easiest thing to do is to excuse yourself and head to the ladies room. It’s the best and safest time out there is.

Find support for the journey; find a nutritious person to be a sounding board or simply a shoulder to lean on. There is nothing weak in needing and asking for help; especially in times of pain and discomfort. Reach out and call someone.

Rest Ministries organizes a 5-day free virtual conference with 20 seminars that can be attended online from your computer. Seminars are on a variety of topics including marriage, parenting, starting a business, how to apply for disability and more—all when you live with a chronic illness. Kick off is the morning of Monday the 14th at 9 a.m. Pacific Time. Go to Blog Talk Radio and turn up your speakers!

May the Lord give you peace,
Coach Carolyn

LAUGH this Weekend!

Instead of the usual purposeful question for Friday, I thought I would share this video.

If ever you are in a crappy mood, watch this video. You won't be in a crappy mood for long. Enjoy!




~ Coach Carolyn

Be Impeccable With Your Word

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate." ~ Albert Schweitzer

One way to use your word is with kindness. It costs nothing to be kind. It can cost you everything when you say something you will later regret.

Always remember the First Agreement: Be Impeccable With Your Word. Life will be much sweeter.

~ Coach Carolyn

Manifesting Inner Peace

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." ~ Mother Teresa

Inner peace is a choice. I choose inner peace. Make this your daily mantra. I choose inner peace. Keep going...

Coach Carolyn chooses inner peace!

Making Choices: Fear or Faith?

“It’s easy to forget that the circumstances of our day-to-day lives are the results of decisions we made yesterday, last month, and last year. We don’t wind up thousands of dollars in debt because of one extravagant purchase, nor do we gain thirty pounds as a result of one decadent dinner. And our relationships certainly don’t end overnight because of a single heated argument. We are where we are because of the decisions we make every day. If we want to better understand how we have created our present-day reality, all we need to do is look at the choices we made and continue to make along the way.”

Every important choice we make is being guided by one of two places: either it is an act of faith or it is an act of fear. Faith opens the door to a new future… while fear keeps us rooted in the past.”

From The Right Questions: Ten Essential Questions to Guide You to an Extraordinary Life by Debbie Ford.

Just for today, think about the choices you are about to make. STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

"Am I making this choice based on faith or is it based on fear?"

Choose wisely,
Coach Carolyn

REVIEW: The Right Questions

I have wanted to purchase this book for sometime and finally did. It was definitely worth it! A beautifully written book of ten questions to ask before making any decision in life. What I love most is that it is written so simply as only Debbie can. It draws the reader in to get to the heart of spiritual decision making.

I highly recommend this book if you are needing to make some serious changes in your life. Remember, your life is a result of the choices you have made up until now. Are you still wanting to make the same destructive choices? The Right Questions will help you in making healthy and proactive choices so you can live a more fulfilling live.

Victim or Creator?

"Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you." ~ Richard Bach

"There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go." ~ Richard Bach

Are you consciously creating your life or are you a victim of your circumstances? You may not have any control over your circumstances, but you have control over how you think about those circumstances. You can either scream, stew or get angry or you can determine to make lemonade out of lemons.

"I have always believed that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value."~ Hermann Hesse

Become a conscious creator!

Coach Carolyn

Friday's Purposeful Question

“…Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

“Are you standing in your own power? If not, what is stopping you?”

"Most people don't know there are angels whose only job is to make sure you don't get too comfortable and fall asleep and miss your life." ~ Brian Andreas

Live with passion!

Coach Carolyn

Speak With Impeccability

“Impeccability of the word can lead you to personal freedom, to huge success and abundance; it can take away all fear and transform it into joy and love.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz from The Four Agreements

In The Success Principles, author and teacher Jack Canfield says: To speak with impeccability is to speak from your higher self. It means that you speak with intention and with integrity. It means that your words are in alignment with what you say and want to produce – your vision and your dreams.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

Coach Carolyn

Inner Peace Leads to Outer Peace

"World peace will never be stable until enough of us find inner peace to stabilize it." ~ Peace Pilgrim

"Eternal Inner Peace has to be cultivated daily." ~ Delphine-Gay de Girardin

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset." ~ St. Francis de Sales

Peace begins within... and when you are at peace, there is some peace in the world.

Live your inner peace!

Coach Carolyn

Living Fearless

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.'

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

'A Course in Miracles' says that the presence of fear is a sure sign we're trusting in our own strength.

Fear is an illusion. Our craziness, paranoia, anxiety, and trauma are literally all imagined. That is not to say they don't exist for us as human beings. They do. But our fear is not our ultimate reality, and it does not replace the truth of who we really are.

~ Marianne Williamson from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Live fearless!

Coach Carolyn