It’s Your Stinking Thinking!

Today is the final day to answer questions in response to my upcoming free teleclass, “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?” The teleclass is this Saturday, September 25th at 7pm EST. Click HERE to register.

I want to thank everyone who submitted questions and comments here and on the BWP Meetup page as well as those who took the online survey. I am very appreciative of your responses. My passion and purpose in life is to journey with women in transition who are looking to create new life stories.

While an overwhelming 62% said they know what they want to do with their lives; a whopping 50% said they were not living their desired lives. This is very typical, yet very sad. We allow so much to stand in the way of our dreams and desires and the main obstacle is ourselves; or more to the point, our thinking. Unfortunately, we don’t believe we can have the lives we desire. If we truly believed we could have the life of our dreams, then nothing would stop us from living that life.

Any thoughts?

Paying Purposeful Attention

This week (and last week), I am addressing some of the questions I have received from the BWP Community in response to the free teleclass coming up on Saturday, September 25th. The teleclass is “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?”

Click HERE to register for the teleclass.

Here’s today’s burning question. I welcome you to chime in and add to the conversation.

“If G-d could send me a message as to what my life's purpose is?”

I will answer this with a story.

A farmer is in Iowa during a flood. The river is overflowing. Water is surrounding the farmer’s home up to his front porch. As he is standing there, a boat comes up. The man in the boat says, “Jump in, and I’ll take you to safety.”

The farmer crosses his arms and says stubbornly, “Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.” The boat goes away. The water rises to the second story. Another boat comes up. The man says to the farmer, who is now at the second floor window, “Hurry, jump in. I’ll save you.”

The farmer again says, “Oh, no thanks; I put my trust in God.”

The boat goes away. Now the water is inching over the roof. As the farmer stands on the roof, a helicopter comes over, and drops a ladder. The pilot yells down to the farmer, “I’ll save you. Climb the ladder.”

The farmer yells back, “Oh, no thanks; I put my trust in God.”

The helicopter goes away. The water continues to rise and sweeps the farmer off the roof into the swiftly moving water. Unfortunately, he drowns.

The farmer goes to heaven. God sees him and says, “What are you doing here?”

The farmer says, “I put my trust in you, and you let me down.”

God says, “What do you mean, let you down? I sent you two boats and a helicopter!”

The answer: God didn’t just send you a message; God gave you everything you need to fulfill your life’s purpose. You just aren’t paying attention!

What are your thoughts?

Re-member the One Thing

This week and next week, I will be addressing some of the questions I have received from the BWP Community in response to the free teleclass coming up on Saturday, September 25th. The teleclass is “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?

Click HERE to register for the teleclass.

I asked for burning questions and issues on this topic and there was no shortage! Love that! As I will not get to all the questions on the call, I want to at least begin the conversation here on the blog. I welcome you to chime in and add to the conversation.

“How do I deal with the anxiety that I get when I think of everything I want to do?”

This is an interesting question.

You know the old joke: Fellow goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, it hurts every time I move my arm this way.” The doctor looks at him and snaps, “Then stop moving your arm that way!”

Point: Stop thinking of “everything” and you won’t have the anxiety!

On the lighter side: Why is there an “everything” when there need be only the one thing?

I know, we all want so much – we want a better job, a new relationship, more money, and on and on the list goes. But again, I come back to the original question: “What is your heart’s desire?” When you get clear about your heart’s desire, the “everythings” will fall into place, and thus the anxiety will lessen.

This may sound trite, but it is really that simple. Remember, life is not complicated; only we are.

Re-member your heart’s desire. Breathe into that remembrance. Then follow where it takes you.

What are your thoughts?

Your True Purpose

This week and next week, I will be addressing some of the questions I have received from the BWP Community in response to the free teleclass coming up on Saturday, September 25th. The teleclass is “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?

Click HERE to register.

I asked for burning questions and issues on this topic and there was no shortage! Love that! As I will not get to all the questions on the call, I want to at least begin the conversation here on the blog. I welcome you to chime in and add to the conversation.

“How do I find my true calling?”

This is the most common and basic question, especially for women of purpose! What is my purpose? What am I here to do?

Let me begin by telling you what your true purpose is not.

Your purpose is not your job, your occupation or your career. Now, if you are living your life on purpose, then your career may be the way you choose to express your purpose, but it is not your purpose. I tend to find with most women that although they express the wish to know their purpose, they won’t take the time to re-discover it. Yes, re-discover it! You already know your purpose; you have just lost touch with it.

If you think you are going to divine why and all of a sudden magically know your purpose, then think again! It does take some effort on your part. It is not difficult, unless you drag out the process and make it more difficult than it has to be.

Your purpose, as I define it, is your heart’s desire. It is the thing you incarnated into this physical realm to be, do and have. It was imprinted into your heart before your birth and has been ever since – quietly waiting for you to re-member it. Oh, it does give you loving nudges from time to time, which you thoroughly enjoy. But you still can’t seem to connect.

Then a crisis touches your life in some way. You then recognize the fragility of life and begin your journey of purposeful wonder. This is the time when most people begin to seriously seek out something they think they haven’t got – their heart’s desire.

So, how do you re-member your heart’s desire? First, know that you already know. Then, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

Who am I?

What am I here to do?

What do I truly desire?

I call these the BE/DO/HAVE Questions. Just sit quietly and ask. Wait! You mean, that’s all to it? Well, no. Now, here comes the part that takes the effort – sit and listen for the answers. Ouch!

I told you! Not difficult unless you choose to make it so. The first thing you must do is seriously ask the questions; and ask the questions of your deepest soul – this is where the answers are. The answers are always in the same room with the questions. 

Sacred Scripture teaches us that you have not because you ask not! If you want to know something, simply ask!

What are your thoughts?

Purpose or Complacency?

This week and next week, I will be addressing some of the questions I have received from the BWP Community in response to my free teleclass coming up on Saturday, September 25th. The teleclass is “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?

If you are a member of the BWP Community, then you have received an invitation to the call.

If you are not a member and want to be, then click here. Remember, women only!

If you just want to attend the call without joining the group, then click here. All are welcome!

I asked for burning questions and issues on this topic and there was no shortage! Love that! As I will not get to all the questions on the call, I want to at least begin the conversation here on the blog. I welcome you to chime in and add to the conversation.

The first question I want to kick this week off with is: “How do I break the cycle of complacency?”

I love this question and I know that cycle, all too well! Let’s start at the very beginning… a very good place to start!

Wiktionary defines complacency as a feeling of contented self-satisfaction, especially when unaware of upcoming trouble.

Will Rogers once quipped, “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.”

Whoa! I love that because it speaks of being satisfied for the moment. Everything is okay right now, so I can just sit back and coax. This is an extremely dangerous place to be. Life is always about movement and forward movement at that. Complacency feels stagnant, albeit content, but stagnant nonetheless. It is so easy to think you are on the right track especially when that track just keeps on rolling day in and day out. But remember the definition, upcoming trouble is on the horizon and you will be caught unawares.

My first line of peaceful defense: STOP, (and I do mean stop!) TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

Where am I feeling complacent?

Identify where in your life you are feeling complacent – your work life, your family life, your social life, your finances, your health, your leisure time; all of the above!

What is your heart’s desire? 

Determine your heart’s desire for that area of your life. What do you want your work life to look like? Or, your finances?

I have found that if you truly follow your heart’s desire, you have no time for complacency – the universe keeps flowing and so do you. Simply start there. Let’s not make this complicated; because it is not, at least it doesn’t have to be. Just stop and focus on those two key pieces of your authentic self – which you have not accessed if you are in the cycle of complacency. 

Need help on discovering your heart's desire? Check out my mini program, "How To Get Your Heart's Desire."

I welcome your thoughts on this topic. It can get very deep. But I like to be deep while wading on the shallow side!

Setting Boundaries to Reduce Fear

"Don't let someone else's opinion of you become your reality." ~ Les Brown

This past weekend about a dozen of our rockin' women of purpose came out to celebrate our third anniversary as a community of women on the journey. It was truly a magical experience. In spite of the fact that the city just got dumped with two feet of snow - give or take an inch or two in some spots - we gathered together to share stories, laugh together, encourage and empower one another and EAT! I was pleasantly surprised at all the delicious delicacies that were placed on our table.

One of the wonderful takeaways from the gathering was about not allowing other people's opinions to influence one's dreams. I thought this was stellar. We work so hard at setting up our boundaries, yet we forget that other people's opinions are one of the greatest boundary invaders. When we allow someone else's opinions to influence our thinking, we might as well turn over our lives to them and not live it. We are in fact living their life, their story, their dream and their drama - which has absolutely nothing to do with us. We have our own story, our own dreams and intentions, and our own opinions of what that all will look like.

When we allow our boundaries to get trampled upon in this way, fear is sure to creep in from around the corner. Why? Because we are not being and doing what is authentic to us. We are living someone else's story. And how scary is that?

Remember my post on Transcending Fear with I AM statements? Well, if you missed it, you can catch it again here. But check the term: I AM! This is about ME; and not about YOU! Keep affirming to yourself your I AM statements, because this reminds you of living in your own authentic story; stay out of other people's drama.

May the light go on with this one. And if it doesn't; check your bulb!

Coach Carolyn

Fear has all sorts of ways to keep you from living your best life. Don't let fear be your guiding force, join the Transcending Fear Mentoring Program. You'll have lots of light bulb moments!

Life Lessons from Two Women of Purpose

The BWP Meetup Community had two, back-to-back, powerful gatherings with two awesome women of purpose and passion.

On Friday the 13th, 13 of us journeyed in the rain to hear author and speaker Marianne Williamson share her thoughts on Spirit of a New World. Hosted by the New York Open Center, our group was invited by the Open Center to join in on this special evening. We even had VIP seating!

Two thoughts I took away from Ms. Marianne: We are in a world where we are constantly tempted to be who we are not. So, who do I need to become? Powerful! This is why I named this community, Becoming a Woman of Purpose. It’s not about finding your “life purpose.” Your life purpose is to love. It’s more about becoming the woman you were created to be in order to fulfill that call to love, in your own unique way. There is no other you at this time. You are it. So, it’s up to you to do you the best way you possibly can.

Marianne was so gracious; she even agreed to take a group photo with us. Yes, we were in the house! Visit Marianne’s website to learn about her happenings.

After a night of powerful messages, we were again rocked and inspired by Anne Goodwin, author of the award-winning book, “Stay For Lunch.” Again, gracious, lovely, as well as truly inspiring. Another rainy evening, 15 women came to learn, share and be inspired by Anne. She shared her Life Lessons learned from her friendship with Francina, a woman fifty years her senior, whom she met when she happened upon her during an auto accident.

The lesson that was most powerful for me was “Say YES and participate in life fully.” This most resonated because I said YES to these two events that came from two strangers via email. I said YES, participated fully, and magic happened. Anne then signed copies of her book, gave gifts of her Angel Cards and donated a portion of her book sales to the Elizabeth Seton Women’s Center. How cool was that? What an inspiration and angel she is!

To purchase Anne’s book, visit her at Pleasurable Pause Press.

In a nutshell, that’s our two magical evenings with women of purpose and passion. What a gift!

I want to give a special shout out to six of our BWP women who came to both events, braving the winds and rains on both evenings. They are symbols of grace, love, and unending spirit and commitment to their journeys. Thank you, Cindy, Clo, Emily, Irma, Lisa, and Sue. You ladies do me so very proud. I love you to pieces!

Still smiling,

Coach Carolyn

Oh, Mother! Your Authentic Self

This past weekend we had another awesome BWP Meetup where 18 women came out on a rainy day to play, learn, and gain new awarenesses. From our topic of Live Your Best Life NOW, the issue of toxic or negative mothers came up. Well, go figure!

I just want to say a few words about this. One of the reasons we as adults are not getting on with Mother is because we are not comfortable with ourselves. If we don’t know who we are, we cannot live into that truth, hence, we have to defend ourselves against what everyone else expects of us, especially our mothers. Remember, of all our relationships, our mothers had the highest expectations of us, whether expressed or not. And when we hem and haw, go back and forth, it seems frustrating to mother, and mother will tell us so.

Go to your secret place and figure out what you truly want to be, do, and have. Stop planning to do it and just do it! Once you get real about what you want to be, do, and have, you will show up more authentic and people will resonate with your authentic self instead of your false self. You teach people how to treat you. If people are beating up on you, abusing you in someway, or treating you badly, then you have allowed this to happen and in essence, gave your consent to this type of behavior. STOP! TAKE A BREATH! and ASK…

“What is my part in this mistreatment from… mother, sibling, boss, co-worker, etc?”

And yes, you do have a part in this. If you are being mistreated on one area or with one specific relationship, then chances are there is more mistreatment in some other area of your life. Find the pattern and break the cycle. Treat yourself like a queen first. No one else will until you do first. No, I am not talking about lording it over people and acting like you are better than…. I am talking about knowing not just who you are, but whose you are. You are a daughter of the Infinite Goodness, the Divine Creator. Stop acting like the secondary character in your own life story. You are the leading lady. Show up, step up and step into your role.

When you can do this, you will be amazed that everyone in your life, including Mother, will fall into alignment with how you are being. BE who you were created to be and not some bad copy of someone else.

Here’s to living your authentic life!
Coach Carolyn