01 October 2009


There is an oft quoted book title by Terry Cole-Whittaker called, What You Think of Me Is None of My Business. This is in keeping with the second agreement of Don Miguel Ruiz' The Four Agreements, Don’t Take Anything Personally.

I remember my seventh grade Math teacher, Miss Lowe, telling one of the more nosy students, “Excuse me! M.Y.O.B.!” Everyone in the class laughed. I found it a profound statement then, as I do today, some thirty plus years later. Today it isn’t politically correct to tell someone to mind their own business, though we think it enough. Yet, when someone says something offensive to you, instead of having to tell them to mind their business, how about remembering it is just that ~ their business. What someone else thinks of you is none of your business.

The second agreement, Don’t Take Anything Personally can relieve you of lots of suffering because you can go through life not being offended by what other people say or think about you.

Yes, but she hurt my feelings!” you counter.

And I counter back: No she didn’t. It is not her fault that something she says pushes one of your buttons. You have the button there to be pushed. Fix your buttons!

I once had a co-worker named Mara. I loved Mara. She was raw and straight to the point. She would say exactly what she thought, whether you asked or not. Then, guess what would happen? Yep, you guessed it. The person she directed her comment to would be offended. And I loved Mara’s comeback. You see, she would never come out and just apologize for her remark. She would say, “I am sorry that what I said hurt your feelings!” Mara understood that she could have said the exact same thing to another, and it would have absolutely no effect on them. But for some reason, it caused ranker in this person.

So, M.Y.O.B. Mind your own business and stop taking things so personally. You will find, life will get much sweeter!

Are you fixing those buttons?
Coach Carolyn


Anonymous said...

I love this post. New reader here and you had me at "Fix your buttons!!!"

Thank you!
Myrone Early
Sean Stone, author of "Soul For Substance"

Carolyn D. Townes, SFO said...

Thanks Sean, for stopping by. So, have YOU any buttons to fix?