22 June 2010

Who Are You Blaming?

As I stated in yesterday’s post, it is easy to point the finger at someone or something else when we are feeling bad. For many years, when I was feeling depressed or anxious, I would blame my mother, my sibling, the moon, you name it. Doing this, I did not have to take responsibility. But this also meant, I forfeited my power to the person or thing I deemed responsible. This meant that I also had no power to change the way I felt.

I rarely, if ever, owned my feelings, therefore, my behavior that resulted from those feelings. It was so-and-so who made me do it. Growing up in my house, the devil was the likely perpetrator to blame things on. It was convenient and bore all the responsibility. I was completely off the hook. Yet, I still felt bad, sad, mad, or glad. The devil couldn’t do anything about lifting my negative moods, or changing my behavior. And, the devil managed to not get the punishments – I received those.

Until you take full and complete responsibility for your own emotions and behaviors, you will always be the victim, powerless and not in control of your own life. As the great First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt once so wisely stated, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” So whether you think you are the victim of someone else’s bad behavior, you are still allowing it. Take back your power and you will find you can also control your emotions. 

No, the devil did not make you do it!
Coach Carolyn

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