Are You Making Assumptions?

“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

Are you making assumptions or are you asking questions?

Are you making assumptions or are you expressing what you truly want?

Are you making assumptions or are you living a life of drama?

I’m just asking…

Are You Waiting for Peace?

"Peace is not something you must hope for in the future. It is a deepening of the present, and unless you look for it in the present, you will never find it." ~ Thomas Merton

Are you being peace or are you waiting for peace to exist outside of you?

Are you waiting for peace to exist someday? Someday never comes. It will always be right now.

I’m just asking…

Are You More Afraid...?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.” ~ Marianne Williamson

Are you more afraid of your inner light – your amazing power to create, to choose, to believe, to love and to bring joy – or are you more afraid of leaving this beautiful earth not having made one bit of difference?

I’m just asking…

7 Spiritual Practices to Purposeful Manifestation

Thanks to everyone who joined our first BWP Teleclass, "What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?" It was a wonderful experience and I was honored to share my spiritual practices. 

Here are the 7 Spiritual Practices:

STOP!

“Stopping is a spiritual art. It is the refuge where 
we drink life in.” ~ Sue Monk Kidd

BREATHE!

Focusing on the act of breathing clears the mind of all daily distractions and

clears your energy, enabling you to better connect with the Spirit within.

ASK!

“You have not because you ask not!” ~ James 4:2b

Who am I?

What am I here to do?

What do I truly desire?

LISTEN!

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening

when you'd have preferred to talk.” ~ Doug Larson

DECIDE!

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspired to make it happen.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

ACT!

“You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.”

~ Anthony Robbins

RELEASE!

Leap… the net will appear!

Click here to get the ebook with tip sheet and 

listen to the replay of the recording.

Here's to your success!

It’s Your Stinking Thinking!

Today is the final day to answer questions in response to my upcoming free teleclass, “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?” The teleclass is this Saturday, September 25th at 7pm EST. Click HERE to register.

I want to thank everyone who submitted questions and comments here and on the BWP Meetup page as well as those who took the online survey. I am very appreciative of your responses. My passion and purpose in life is to journey with women in transition who are looking to create new life stories.

While an overwhelming 62% said they know what they want to do with their lives; a whopping 50% said they were not living their desired lives. This is very typical, yet very sad. We allow so much to stand in the way of our dreams and desires and the main obstacle is ourselves; or more to the point, our thinking. Unfortunately, we don’t believe we can have the lives we desire. If we truly believed we could have the life of our dreams, then nothing would stop us from living that life.

Any thoughts?

Rut or Grave?

This week (and last week), I am addressing some of the questions I have received from the BWP Community in response to the free teleclass coming up on Saturday, September 25th. The teleclass is “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?”

Click HERE to register for the teleclass.

Here’s today’s burning question. I welcome you to chime in and add to the conversation.

“How can I get out of my rut....and back feeling motivated to achieve some of my goals?”

This is an interesting question and one that is quite common. First, what is the difference between a rut and a grave?

The dimensions!

What is a rut? A rut is a depression or groove worn into a road or path.

If you have grooved a rut for yourself, it is not much different than digging your own grave. Sorry to sound so harsh, but there it is. Let’s look at an analogy.

Think of freshly fallen snow. See it? Pretty, isn’t it? Then, someone walks through and leaves a trail. The next person who needs to walk through will most likely walk in the trail that has already been blazed. Until soon, it is a full path to walk.

Now, since that path is already set, it is very easy to continue walking along it. It would be a bit tricky to walk along another path that hasn’t been blazed. In order for you to walk along another path, it would have to be a pretty deep groove.

If you have been taking small, consistent action steps toward your goals all along, then you have blazed the path and it is easy to continue along that path. But if you have done nothing towards your goals, then your path is to do nothing – which is pretty deep by now.

The only way out of a rut is to create another trail; a trail of something that you want, and not something that you don’t want. When you are in a rut, it is an unconscious choice to continue doing the same thing that you have always done. When you do the same thing you have always done, you get the same thing you have always gotten! Got it?

So, what do you do? Make the conscious choice to do something different. If you have goals and intentions, how committed are you to achieving them? If you are, then create small, inspired actions steps to make your goals a reality. And if you are not, well…

What are your thoughts?

Letting Go of the Past

This week (and last week), I am addressing some of the questions I have received from the BWP Community in response to the free teleclass coming up on Saturday, September 25th. The teleclass is “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?”

Click HERE to register for the teleclass.

Here’s today’s burning question. I welcome you to chime in and add to the conversation.

“How do I let go of my past?”

This is a question I heard quite often; and still it baffles me. If your past was wonderful, then why would you want to let it go? And if your past was so awful, why are you hanging on to it?

Think about this: have you ever gone to a movie and it was really awful? I mean, the acting was bad, the dialogue was crummy, the cinematography just sucked! It was bad! I am sure we have all had this experience at one time or another.

Now, let me ask you: Would you keep going back to see that really bad movie? You probably answered, “No flippin’ way!” (I’m being kind here!)

Yet, if your past is like that bad movie, then why do you continuously replay it over again and again in your mind? Like the bad movie, just let it go and move on! Unfortunately, there is no miracle cure or magic bullet here. If you want to let something go, you must make the decision to simply let it go.

Take from your past your lessons and your blessings and move on. Stop judging your past because it is past and you can do nothing about it. If you need to forgive, then forgive – especially yourself – and let it go! Like you cannot change what you had for breakfast this morning, so too you cannot change your past.

If you want to let go, then make the decision to let go!

What are your thoughts?

The Voice of Doubt

This week (and last week), I am addressing some of the questions I have received from the BWP Community in response to the free teleclass coming up on Saturday, September 25th. The teleclass is “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?”

Click HERE to register for the teleclass.

Today, I would like to address a topic that has come up over and over again, especially in the online survey. I asked the question what stops you from living your life on purpose, an overwhelming majority said DOUBT. So, I think it fitting to address this sinister voice called doubt.

So, let’s start at the very beginning… What is doubt?

According to Wiktionary, doubt is uncertainty; to lack confidence in; to disbelieve, question, or suspect.

Wikipedia states that doubt brings into question some notion of a perceived "reality", and may involve delaying or rejecting relevant action out of concerns for mistakes or faults or appropriateness. 

When you are full on and living your heart’s desire, then there is no room for doubt. As Dale Carnegie once said, inaction breeds fear and doubt. Doubt rears its head when you are not doing what you were created to do; because you have no authentic belief in doing what you were never meant to do.

Once you get in alignment with your heart’s desire, and begin taking inspired action steps, you will find that the voice of your doubter starts to get quieter and quieter. Just take the first steps, no matter how small. Just begin it and soon your doubt will be no more.

“There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.” ~ Buddha

What are your thoughts?

Paying Purposeful Attention

This week (and last week), I am addressing some of the questions I have received from the BWP Community in response to the free teleclass coming up on Saturday, September 25th. The teleclass is “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?”

Click HERE to register for the teleclass.

Here’s today’s burning question. I welcome you to chime in and add to the conversation.

“If G-d could send me a message as to what my life's purpose is?”

I will answer this with a story.

A farmer is in Iowa during a flood. The river is overflowing. Water is surrounding the farmer’s home up to his front porch. As he is standing there, a boat comes up. The man in the boat says, “Jump in, and I’ll take you to safety.”

The farmer crosses his arms and says stubbornly, “Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.” The boat goes away. The water rises to the second story. Another boat comes up. The man says to the farmer, who is now at the second floor window, “Hurry, jump in. I’ll save you.”

The farmer again says, “Oh, no thanks; I put my trust in God.”

The boat goes away. Now the water is inching over the roof. As the farmer stands on the roof, a helicopter comes over, and drops a ladder. The pilot yells down to the farmer, “I’ll save you. Climb the ladder.”

The farmer yells back, “Oh, no thanks; I put my trust in God.”

The helicopter goes away. The water continues to rise and sweeps the farmer off the roof into the swiftly moving water. Unfortunately, he drowns.

The farmer goes to heaven. God sees him and says, “What are you doing here?”

The farmer says, “I put my trust in you, and you let me down.”

God says, “What do you mean, let you down? I sent you two boats and a helicopter!”

The answer: God didn’t just send you a message; God gave you everything you need to fulfill your life’s purpose. You just aren’t paying attention!

What are your thoughts?

Friday’s Purposeful Question

This week and next week, I will be addressing some of the questions I have received from the BWP Community in response to the free teleclass coming up on Saturday, September 25th. The teleclass is “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?"

Click HERE to register for the teleclass.

Today, I turn the tables to ask you a question. One of the things we talk a lot about here at BWP is mindset and your conscious awareness. So today’s question speaks a bit to this. I welcome you to chime in and add to the conversation.

“If you were to put your thoughts into words, would you regret your words?”

Remember, your thoughts become things – and the things are the results that show up in your life. And yes, they originated from your thoughts.

Watch your thoughts … they become words

Watch your words … they become actions

Watch your actions … they become habits

Watch your habits … they become character

Watch your character … it becomes your destiny;

… which become the results that we see in the world.

What are your thoughts?

Have a purposeful weekend!

Your False Self vs. Your Authentic Self

This week and next week, I will be addressing some of the questions I have received from the BWP Community in response to the free teleclass coming up on Saturday, September 25th. The teleclass is “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?"

Click HERE to register for the teleclass.

Here’s today’s burning question. I welcome you to chime in and add to the conversation.

“Why is it easier to bash oneself than to love oneself?”

This is a great question and one we often overlook on the journey to re-discovering our passions and purpose. We are so busy looking outside of ourselves that we tend to neglect the inner picture. Yet, loving ourselves is critical to both the inner and outer picture.

I believe something very crucial is going on here. First, we have become so lost and so disconnected from our authentic selves that the false self has just taken over. One of my favorite stories is The Magic Story. It speaks of the Plus Entity and the Minus Entity – the two parts that make up the self. When one is dominant, the other is in the distant background; both cannot equally occupy the self at the same time. In the story, because of fear, doubt, and self-loathing, the Minus Entity has become the dominant self. But he meets the Plus Entity who wants to take back the self to be happy and purposeful once again.

We all have a Plus and Minus Entity within each one of us. I call them the false self and the Authentic Self. We have lived in our false personas for so long, that our Authentic Self is lying dormant in the background and we have lost track of it. Some of the features of the false self are fear, doubt, worry, self-loathing, resentment, unforgiveness, and constrictiveness. These are not stellar characteristics; but neither are they our true characteristics. Yet, we are living in this false persona; and as such, we have come to loathe who we are and what we have become.

That is one reason I call this community and this blog “Becoming a Woman of Purpose.” We are always becoming more than we are in this present moment. Tomorrow we will become something bigger, brighter, bolder, and better. The more we tap into our truth or touch just a portion of our authenticity; we become more of who we were created to be.

What are your thoughts?

Re-member the One Thing

This week and next week, I will be addressing some of the questions I have received from the BWP Community in response to the free teleclass coming up on Saturday, September 25th. The teleclass is “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?

Click HERE to register for the teleclass.

I asked for burning questions and issues on this topic and there was no shortage! Love that! As I will not get to all the questions on the call, I want to at least begin the conversation here on the blog. I welcome you to chime in and add to the conversation.

“How do I deal with the anxiety that I get when I think of everything I want to do?”

This is an interesting question.

You know the old joke: Fellow goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, it hurts every time I move my arm this way.” The doctor looks at him and snaps, “Then stop moving your arm that way!”

Point: Stop thinking of “everything” and you won’t have the anxiety!

On the lighter side: Why is there an “everything” when there need be only the one thing?

I know, we all want so much – we want a better job, a new relationship, more money, and on and on the list goes. But again, I come back to the original question: “What is your heart’s desire?” When you get clear about your heart’s desire, the “everythings” will fall into place, and thus the anxiety will lessen.

This may sound trite, but it is really that simple. Remember, life is not complicated; only we are.

Re-member your heart’s desire. Breathe into that remembrance. Then follow where it takes you.

What are your thoughts?

Your True Purpose

This week and next week, I will be addressing some of the questions I have received from the BWP Community in response to the free teleclass coming up on Saturday, September 25th. The teleclass is “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?

Click HERE to register.

I asked for burning questions and issues on this topic and there was no shortage! Love that! As I will not get to all the questions on the call, I want to at least begin the conversation here on the blog. I welcome you to chime in and add to the conversation.

“How do I find my true calling?”

This is the most common and basic question, especially for women of purpose! What is my purpose? What am I here to do?

Let me begin by telling you what your true purpose is not.

Your purpose is not your job, your occupation or your career. Now, if you are living your life on purpose, then your career may be the way you choose to express your purpose, but it is not your purpose. I tend to find with most women that although they express the wish to know their purpose, they won’t take the time to re-discover it. Yes, re-discover it! You already know your purpose; you have just lost touch with it.

If you think you are going to divine why and all of a sudden magically know your purpose, then think again! It does take some effort on your part. It is not difficult, unless you drag out the process and make it more difficult than it has to be.

Your purpose, as I define it, is your heart’s desire. It is the thing you incarnated into this physical realm to be, do and have. It was imprinted into your heart before your birth and has been ever since – quietly waiting for you to re-member it. Oh, it does give you loving nudges from time to time, which you thoroughly enjoy. But you still can’t seem to connect.

Then a crisis touches your life in some way. You then recognize the fragility of life and begin your journey of purposeful wonder. This is the time when most people begin to seriously seek out something they think they haven’t got – their heart’s desire.

So, how do you re-member your heart’s desire? First, know that you already know. Then, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

Who am I?

What am I here to do?

What do I truly desire?

I call these the BE/DO/HAVE Questions. Just sit quietly and ask. Wait! You mean, that’s all to it? Well, no. Now, here comes the part that takes the effort – sit and listen for the answers. Ouch!

I told you! Not difficult unless you choose to make it so. The first thing you must do is seriously ask the questions; and ask the questions of your deepest soul – this is where the answers are. The answers are always in the same room with the questions. 

Sacred Scripture teaches us that you have not because you ask not! If you want to know something, simply ask!

What are your thoughts?

Purpose or Complacency?

This week and next week, I will be addressing some of the questions I have received from the BWP Community in response to my free teleclass coming up on Saturday, September 25th. The teleclass is “What Do You Really Want to Do With Your Life?

If you are a member of the BWP Community, then you have received an invitation to the call.

If you are not a member and want to be, then click here. Remember, women only!

If you just want to attend the call without joining the group, then click here. All are welcome!

I asked for burning questions and issues on this topic and there was no shortage! Love that! As I will not get to all the questions on the call, I want to at least begin the conversation here on the blog. I welcome you to chime in and add to the conversation.

The first question I want to kick this week off with is: “How do I break the cycle of complacency?”

I love this question and I know that cycle, all too well! Let’s start at the very beginning… a very good place to start!

Wiktionary defines complacency as a feeling of contented self-satisfaction, especially when unaware of upcoming trouble.

Will Rogers once quipped, “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.”

Whoa! I love that because it speaks of being satisfied for the moment. Everything is okay right now, so I can just sit back and coax. This is an extremely dangerous place to be. Life is always about movement and forward movement at that. Complacency feels stagnant, albeit content, but stagnant nonetheless. It is so easy to think you are on the right track especially when that track just keeps on rolling day in and day out. But remember the definition, upcoming trouble is on the horizon and you will be caught unawares.

My first line of peaceful defense: STOP, (and I do mean stop!) TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

Where am I feeling complacent?

Identify where in your life you are feeling complacent – your work life, your family life, your social life, your finances, your health, your leisure time; all of the above!

What is your heart’s desire? 

Determine your heart’s desire for that area of your life. What do you want your work life to look like? Or, your finances?

I have found that if you truly follow your heart’s desire, you have no time for complacency – the universe keeps flowing and so do you. Simply start there. Let’s not make this complicated; because it is not, at least it doesn’t have to be. Just stop and focus on those two key pieces of your authentic self – which you have not accessed if you are in the cycle of complacency. 

Need help on discovering your heart's desire? Check out my mini program, "How To Get Your Heart's Desire."

I welcome your thoughts on this topic. It can get very deep. But I like to be deep while wading on the shallow side!

Here Comes the Judge!

We have come to the end of out week long journey into those limiting behaviors that keep you stuck and not able to be the divine creative expression you were meant to be. First we looked at blaming – the victim’s playground. This is the behavior that leaves you powerless and being a victim of your circumstances. Then we took a brief look into complaining – a close cousin of blaming; and an easy and convenient way to not take full responsibility for your life.

Next, we took a lighter walk on the dark side of criticizing. If you want peace in your life, you must do the truth in love and avoid the trap of criticizing.

Our final limiting behavior this week is judging which is another cleverly cloaked behavior as there are those who make their living from judging others. Yes, there are times when we must judge in order to bring about justice – but we are called to judge the behavior and the actions of the other, not the person him or herself. Judgment is the considered evaluation of evidence in the formation of making a decision. But take it a step further… making a decision based on the actions of the individual.

“When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.” ~ Author Unknown (yes, it bears repeating!)

Our tendency is to label a person, thus judging them; then that label becomes their identity in the eyes of the one judging. Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard once noted when you label me, you negate me. How very wise! To label someone, to judge them based on things like gender, age, color of skin, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, is to negate and deny their true character. If there is anger, greed and dissention in one culture, then it is somewhere in all cultures. There are class wars, turf wars, religious wars – all based on judgment; which only escalates into fear and hatred.

If someone has behaved poorly or inappropriately, then the behavior must be judged and dealt with. Yes, the person pays the price for their poor choice; but not because he is of a certain class or religion.

Case in point: Little 6-year-old Suzy is told that she cannot have cookies so close to dinnertime. Little Suzy takes the cookies anyway. You could tell Suzy that because she made a poor choice and chose to disobey, she must be punished appropriately for her actions; or, you could tell her that she is a bad girl and she never listens. One way judges and reprimands her behavior; the other way judges her as a person and potentially disturbs her growing character.

So, just for today, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

• Do I engage in any of these limiting behaviors?
• Do I blame someone or something outside of myself, thus giving away my power, leaving me a victim of circumstances?
• Do I constantly complain about something I have no control over just to have something to complain about?
• Do I judge another based on who they are or do I judge the actions?

If you answered YES to any or all, simply make the decision to remove these limiting behaviors today and watch how your life opens up to all sorts of unlimited possibilities.

Are You An Unpaid Critic?

Our next limiting behavior is criticizing. Okay, I know you never criticize, or rather, you offer constructive criticism. I think that is one of the slickest yet insidious ways to mask criticism. Unless, you are paid to give a critique – then keep it to yourself! This is my rule of thumb. Yes, but what if someone asks me? Turn it back on them.

“When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.” ~ Author Unknown

I am speaking of criticism as expressing disapproval by pointing out faults or shortcomings. My favorite is when someone will ask about an outfit – knowing full well what the answer will be and, they already have their own mind made up about it. Most of us have fallen into this trap. Why bother to ask? Because most women, not all, but most, have grown up with the very low sense of self. They don’t rely on their own opinion so they seek out the opinion of others. Or, they need the approval of others before they make a move.

When I say turn it back on them, I simply mean to ask them if they like and feel comfortable with the outfit, the decision, or whatever it is – and if they do, then go for it! The bottom line is to offer criticism only when asked for and then do the truth in love. You don’t have to say, “Good God, you look absolutely hideous in that thing!” Just say if you like and feel comfortable, then go for it!

After saying this, don’t go out and buy a Tee shirt that says, “I couldn’t talk her out of that ridiculous outfit!” Not cool!

Are You A Chronic Complainer?

"Whine, whine! How about some cheese with that whine!"

Our next victim-making gremlin, limiting behavior, is complaining. Do you constantly complain? Do you hang out with chronic complainers? What are the complaints about? Are there solutions to those plights or is it just better to complain?

“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.” ~ Anthony J. D'Angelo

My first job out of college was on a government complaint hotline. I heard complaints all day - for a living! After awhile, I could tell the genuine complainers from those who just wanted to complain. 

To complain means to express displeasure or discontentment. We all know someone who just likes to complain. They won’t do anything about changing the situation; they just want to complain about it.

If you have such a complainer in your life, then I challenge you to challenge them! Sit down with them and do the truth in love. Do not judge them (another limiting behavior) because it will only make them more defensive – giving them more reason to complain. Rather, ask them what would they prefer to see instead of what’s disturbing them. Can they do anything to bring that alternative about? If yes, then devise a plan to do so; and if not, then let it go and deal with something you do have control over.

And if you are the chronic complainer, then I challenge you to STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

• What am I complaining about?
• What is the real issue here?
• Can I control it or change it?

If you can control or change it, then get to it; and if not, then let it go!

We often complain because it makes up for the situation we don’t want to deal with. There is usually some underlying cause that we don’t want to look at – so we complain about a surface issue that really has nothing to do with the root cause.

For example: A mother who constantly complains about her son who has turned out to behave very careless and reckless. The son is mentally ill, though undiagnosed, and therefore untreated. The complaints are the son never takes care of his affairs – his children, his home, himself.

Root cause: The mother did not help the son in the beginning when she had the chance to make an impact – to get him the help he so desperately needed. Had she intervened earlier, she might have nipped it in the bud.

Now, there will always be extenuating circumstances to every issue, but the bottom line is to determine the root cause of the complaining; especially if it’s constant and about the same issue.

So, just for today, think about your complaining habits and make a conscious effort to eliminate complaining from your life.

Blame: A Victim’s Playground

Our first limiting behavior this week is blaming. I cannot state enough how truly damaging this behavior can be. It absolutely keeps you living a small, sad existence and you will never show up as the divine bright light you truly are.

“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Wikipedia defines blame as: the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise.

Yes, we have all had something done to us or against us. As children, we were victims of our circumstances because we were not in control of our choices or our lives. Today, as mature adults, we do have control over the choices we make and I am here to tell you that everything is a choice. Even when you choose not to make a choice – it is still a choice!

I do not say condone or ignore poor or inappropriate behavior, but anything done to you was done in the past. You must forgive the past and move on; or you will never live a happy and peaceful present or future.

When you continue to blame someone or something outside of yourself, you are essentially giving away your power; which renders you powerless. Being powerless keeps you stuck in the role of victim; and in the grand scheme of life, there are no victims, only volunteers. When you continue to cast blame on something or someone outside of yourself, you are in essence signing up to be victim – that is the choice you are making; albeit an unconscious choice.

So, just for today, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK:

• What was my part in this situation?
• For what purpose have I attracted it into my life? (Remember, it takes two to tango!)
• What are the lessons and the blessings in this situation?

No More Victim Stories

This week, I would like to focus on a set of behaviors that I believe keeps us living very small lives and limits our becoming women (and men) of purpose. In order to gain mastery over these behaviors, we need to expose then and shine light on them. Only those behaviors brought into the light can be properly dealt with.

Although the list of limiting behaviors could get quite lengthy, I will only speak of four of them here this week. I do believe that once you have a grasp on these behaviors, you will be able to easily recognize them; thus gain awareness and clarity over why certain areas of your life become stuck and stagnant.

So, what are these limiting behaviors we will shine light on this week? They are blaming, complaining, criticizing and judging. Do you recognize any or all as too close a companion? Yes, we have all engaged in one or another at some point in our lives. And you may say there is a healthy time and place for them. Well, I call that justification – another limiting behavior that does not serve you.

What I want to get at here with these behaviors is that you are on a journey to a life of peace, passion and purpose. You are living your passions from your divine heart message, thus will you be at peace. And yes, you need other people to make it so. But the four limiting behaviors are more about not minding your own story, looking at another person’s behavior instead of dealing with your own, pointing the finger at someone else and not taking personal responsibility for your own unique and precious life. Put all of these together and your life is called victimhood.

This week, you will stop being a victim in your own life story and start being the divine creator you were created to be!

Ruth and Esther: Models of Grace

“Then Queen Esther…wrote with full authority…” ~ Esther 9:29a

“So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife… and she bore a son.” ~ Ruth 4:13

How you behave in the darkness of the wilderness determines how long you remain in the darkness of the wilderness. Both Ruth and Esther, very unlikely women, found tremendous favor in the eyes of God and the people. Yes, they definitely went through the dark wilderness – the anguish, the sorrow, the pain of loss, fear and great desolation. And yet, they both journeyed through that darkness with their eyes not on their own bitterness and pain, but on the light of faith and hope that shined from within. They turned to their own divine light; that inner wisdom of divine grace that lay deep within.

We all have that same inner wisdom that we can access during those times of desolation. We tend to behave badly in the wilderness – complaining, blaming and seething with bitterness – so we remain there far too long. Our trials are meant to ask of us: “How will you receive me – with hatred and resentment, or with a holy longing for what is possible?”

As an unconscious competent during my own journey of grief, I made the decision to choose the latter; simply because it promised me far more than bitterness. By nature, I am not a bitter person, I cannot hold a grudge to save my life – though I do have my moments of woefulness. So, I had to embrace all that rose up within me. It is in the times of pain when our moment to shine is the brightest.

Ruth: The Light of Hope

“But Ruth said: ‘Entreat me not to leave you,

Or to turn back from following after you;

For wherever you go, I will go;

And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;

Your people shall be my people,

And your God, my God.

Where you die, I will die,

And there will I be buried.

The LORD do so to me, and more also,

If anything but death parts you and me.’” ~ Ruth 1:16-17

Two of the beautiful verses of the Book, the widow Ruth has been converted to the God of her late husband’s people. It is in this new relationship that she can go and live with her mother-in-law Naomi, and be a comfort to her as well. In times of great sorrow and pain, it is very easy to think of only ourselves; yet Ruth reached out to Naomi, who was also widowed but rendered childless and pretty much helpless, especially in those times.

The way we behave during the dark times, during the adversities, determines how long we remain in the darkness. If we wallow in sorrow and bitterness, then that much longer will we remain in the sorrow and bitterness. Ruth knew she needed to shine a glimmer of light for Naomi to see the hope she had lost.

Esther: Woman of Courage

“And so I will go to the king, which is against the law; and if I perish, I perish!” ~ Esther 4:16b

I can only imagine how Queen Esther must have felt in that moment. Knowing that a decree had been issued for the mass destruction of all her people; she also knew that she had to use the little power she had as queen to intercede for her people – and for herself.

Can you imagine the fear, the anguish, and the loneliness she must have felt? Yet, Esther first did what she knew to do – she called upon her God in fasting and prayer for three days and three nights. In doing so, Esther could let go of any and all worry, doubt and fear and put her trust in her God. It was the hand of her God which brought her up from a lonely orphan Jewess to Queen of the Persian Empire; for she had “come to the kingdom for such a time as this.”